Today, I went fishing with my dad. I figured, since we were out on the dock, I may as well get rid of my farmer's tan. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up to a fishing net draped over me. I now have a fishnet pattern down the front of my body. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad and I went fishing. We both got a bite, but when we went to reel it in, both our hooks were in the catfish's mouth. He pushed me in the mud and took my hook out its mouth so he could say he caught it. FML
Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to go fishing together, but he said he was busy with errands. Later, in a casual conversation with my friend, she opened up her phone to show me pictures of her fishing with my dad. FML
Today, I woke up from a great night of camping and fishing all night long with my fiancee, only to find my stringer of fish being eaten by a water moccasin snake. My dad's been asking for a fish fry for two weeks now. FML
Today, after fishing for 5 hours, I finally caught a respectable-sized fish. I ran to my truck to grab the scale, and then I saw my friend laughing hysterically while holding an empty net. Apparently, the only catch of our day jumped out of the net during the 15 seconds I was gone. FML
Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML
Today, I went fishing. Not only did I lose the fish, I lost the entire rod. FML
Today, I went tanning on the beach. I found a nice spot close to shore and laid there with my towel and sunglasses. A few hours later, I awoke to waves splashing at me. My towel was soaked and my sunglasses must have washed off the shore. Damn high tide. FML
Today, I went fishing with friends looking to catch big redfish. During the trip, one of the men caught a 50 pound monster which I put away. At the end of the trip they wanted to take a picture with it. I went to wash off the fish in the water. Apparently the fish wasn't dead and swam away. FML
Took, I took my son fishing. We ended the night at the ER. FML
Today, I woke up late to an urgent voicemail from my dad telling me he left me a present in my car. Excited, I went to investigate. I then saw that his "surprise" was fresh fish he had caught. I hate fish, and now my car stinks. FML
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Top comments
Doxy 22
You're a trend setter by nature I see. A fisherman's tan is going to be the next big thing. I just can feel it.
poetrywriter12 6
Maybe your troll father was trying teach you a lesson for sleeping when you were meant to spend time with him.
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Comments (61)
superpoptart 24
Post it to Reddit.
Steffi 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You slept with a fishing net, fishing net fetish.
Damian95 16
...Well that would be the story of all fish stories....^^^
Futacy 30
#2, are you like... retarded?
Olympiakos10 15
I still don't understand what the **** half the people who replied here are trying to say
Kefka91 15
27 - You want people to say things are "mentally challenged" then? Yeah, that's retarded.
ravenevercross 19
What happened to #1?
lifesucks1217 6
Saying stupid is less offensive than saying retarded or mentally challenged to people like me. (in my opinion)
Steffi 26
I wasn't being serious, just to confirm :/.
Ian7890 23
wheres #1?
thandidavis 17
How's that offensive? If I were to call someone who was mentally disabled a retard I feel like that would be offensive...you even use "mentally disabled" instead of "retard".
Mr_Satan 11
48 - Using the word "retarded" as an insult is not a recent thing. Besides that, by definition, insults are offensive. It's the whole goddamn point. Is it better to say dumb ass? Shit for brains? Witless, dull, dense, or brainless? No! It doesn't ******* matter. All of that, including retarded, means below average intelligence. So get the **** over this PC bullshit.
oh_lordy_me 18
Well, might look pretty cool
Wiringify 22
I'm sure it does.
vehementbitch 4
New trend on the lose! Fishnet tan! No need to buy stockings any more!
RedPillSucks 33
OPs a guy. I hope he wasn't into stockings before this.
Doxy 22
You're a trend setter by nature I see. A fisherman's tan is going to be the next big thing. I just can feel it.
Jemm_fml 29
Yeah I'm sure it's going to catch on pretty fast!
upallnight11 19
That's kind of cool, actually. If you're lucky, it will become a new summer trend. Be proud of your creativity and rock your new look.
lennelleong 33
Two words - Mermaid. Mocumentary... :))
saxybandgeek 14
Does the net make a kind of scale pattern? Because if it does you can pretend to be a merman more efficiently
feelingold 18
absolutely. because mermaids definitely exist (despite the government cover-up...)
poetrywriter12 6
Maybe your troll father was trying teach you a lesson for sleeping when you were meant to spend time with him.
simsgirlgem 25
Could be worse you could have woke up with the word Dick or a penis drawn on your forehead
Jemm_fml 29
This is the part where you WORK. IT. *snaps fingers*
HopelesslyCiara5 19
Yes! Work it! It sounds pretty cool to me!! Now you can check that off your bucket list, OP!
superpoptart 24
Post it to Reddit.