Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my little brother, who is 11, explained to me how babies are made. I’m 15. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML
Today, my little sister asked what masturbation was. We were having a family dinner with my grandparents. My mother then said, "Why don't you ask your brother? He is a pro." FML
Today, my son asked his mom about sex, so she talked about love, marriage, God, affection and all that bollocks, missing the point that he wanted to know about having good sex since he has a girlfriend now, so I explained all the wet, squishy practical bits of sex. Now my wife is mad at me. FML
Today, I was babysitting my barely-pubescent cousins, and they started talking about giving blowjobs to their "boyfriends". When I got mad at them, telling them they shouldn't be thinking of that stuff, they said I was just pissed because I "haven't gotten laid." FML
Today, I brought a boy over to my house to help with a history project. My mom suddenly swooped in and bombarded him with questions about his and my sex life, and how she wants to have exactly four grandchildren. FML
Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML
Today, on a train, a little boy and a little girl came up to me and asked how babies are made. Already pretty uncomfortable with their question, their mother suddenly appeared and said, "Go on, tell them!" FML
Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
black0belt0babe7 0
OH my god, this just made my day! What's the world coming to?
teethingtom 0
Tell your nephew I need my penthouse back
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (96)
itzdashit 0
Dear Penthouse Forum....
lolcake 0
that is not a FML...
footbag 0
How is thy **** ur life atleast he's not gay or ur son for that matter
zolltf 4
what's wrong with gay people?
twilightluver347 7
yeah!
C_Renae_F 0
Why is it that slowly kids are learning about this kind of stuff at younger and younger ages?
Topguy 0
Hahaha the next generation :) the last innocent generation is almost dead
notsocrafty 0
Wow, that is a street wise kid. Dodge try to pull you into a three card monte game or another short term grift?
notsocrafty 0
27 LOL :)
jahwn 12
Those have very little to do with pregnancy, tell him this, although some lesbos can get pregnant, such as my mom, they need a sperm bank.
rollursk8r 0
so what??? i knew what those things were when i was 11.
you_and_me_fml 8
omg and number 9 LMAO! you should totally do that. but seriously theres nothing too wrong about that... thats just how guys are and i knew about that stuff at that age... maybe not those details but sex in general. but its still kinda funny i have to admit
hollowhead01 0
dang :)