Today, my mother, her fiancé, and I were having dinner together. My mother was joking that she wasn't sure she could hold him down, as he used to "get around." She turned to talk to the waiter and my future step-father looked me up and down and winked. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML
Today, my fiancé and I visited his family for dinner. The entire time I was there, his mother and sister had an in depth conversation about how attractive his ex girlfriends were and how they got along with them so well. FML
And I oop
Today, my boyfriend was taking me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet, I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club, pointing at the woman. It was his mother. FML
Inappropriate!
Today, I nervously introduced my mother to my new boyfriend. I had to sit and watch her flirt with him for an hour. When I took her in the other room and confronted her about it, she said, "Don't you dare ruin this for me!" FML
Nice to meet you… again
Today, my mother invited me to a nice restaurant to meet her boyfriend whom she's been seriously dating for a month. Imagine my surprise when she led me to a table and my boyfriend's father stood up, shocked, to greet me. Rather than being horrified, she is now planning double dates every week. FML
Felicia doesn't approve
Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML
Noooo, not him
Today, my mother arranged for me to meet the man she is planning to marry. Turns out, my future stepfather is also my creepy old boss, who spent 4 months hitting on me before I quit a year ago. FML
WTF?
Today, I went to my fiancé's mother's funeral. His step-sister proudly announced that she's pregnant with his baby and they are engaged. FML
Top comments
Monkeysmommy1 0
Dirty... Step daddy likes to keep it in the family.
m1k30d 6
You should make some kind of epic objection at the wedding.
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Comments (144)
ikickgingers 15
"Don't be picky, just be happy with this quickie."
Enslaved 38
I once went to a restaurant and ordered a quickie only to find out it was pronounced quiche. Hahaha whoops (:
ikickgingers 15
Lol, that reminds me... Check your PM.
perdix 31
Damn! They're going private just as I was getting excited about watching the two of them go at it. I had my hot-air popper and my butter all ready. And I don't even have any popcorn -- weenk ;)
flockz 20
*takes hand out of pants*
The_Troller 14
*puts away lotion*
g0bak3acake 0
*picks up the tissues*
intothecrypt 3
I was already done.
Jovecove 13
Damn, I was just getting started!
theTrollGuy 7
C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!! Now you can bury me with thumbs down.
intothecrypt 3
Too many c's. one of them must stand for cocksuck.
stevenJB 25
I would ask to move with my real dad. But that totally depends if He's ass or not :/
jizzwold 21
What if he is dead?
FarSide 23
@106... Then they might not want to move in.
threer 30
What if He is ass?
Lemuel_fml 5
What a pedobear.
tragicnightmare 15
that's the perfect example
thesockbunny 5
It might have just been a tasteless joke he was trying to make
ieatunicorn4fun 7
Or it might of been him saying he wants to have sex.
happyfailure 4
O.O
bn326160 13
Run away. Run fast, run far!
AthleticSwaqq 8
Flip him off, and wink back.
DocBastard 40
This guy really puts the "Eep!!" in "creep".
causticgirl 6
Creepy. If he ever approaches you I'd grab his nuts and twist hard, and tell him it's never gonna happen.
markymark1429 8
Have you seen my favorite Helen Hunt movie?
baygirl564 9
That's creepy...