Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he spank you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML
Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "My mom is SO awesome." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML
Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
log1k 3
what... the ****?
ohmygawdz 0
FYL because your mom thought you would know that.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (263)
Lia_Mackenzie 4
#49 and #63 - Seriously? #62 - Thank you for having a brain. That's hilarious. Ahahahahahahahaha, I love your mom. This totally made my day, and I just got up. Question...I'm new here, what does OP stand for? On Point?
zrhcrx 0
you should have just responded with....well, usually i just take care of myself
grl223 0
Hahaha. I think it's a good question. And 49, learn to have a sense of humor.
AnotherStranger2 0
...O_o; RANDOM, much?... That would totally creep me out if my mom did that. o_o *shudders* Gay or not, that's just weird. ...WHY?... FYL for having that BURNED into your memory. ...What kind of hand motions? XD #71 - "OP" is "Original Poster". The person who posted the fml.
paintballer394 0
Nice one #72, hahaha.
Psodium 0
:-DDD Talk to your mom about it before someone else does!!!
Darkenwrath 0
hahaha your mom sounds awesome, and my gay friend told me he likes receiving more than giving so i guess he doesn't need the reacharound method.
jncwmnd 0
OP could be a girl..which would make it more akward >_< I
Goosie 0
ahahahahahaaaaaa!!! that is awesome!
dyingstart 0
hahaha this is what the internet is for :P