Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML
Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML
Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML
Today, my mom is 100% positive that she saw me meeting up with a stranger and buying some kind of drug from "him." I didn't even pass by anyone on my walk. I went to get dollar store pizza, because I can't afford to buy any decent food this week, let alone drugs. FML
Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML
Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML
Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML
Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML
Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ilovecookies83 0
Get her help :|
Doortje 30
Sounds like a great deal.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (209)
ThisGi 0
wow
xtoeclipse 0
I don't get it. but it's typical for me not to get it because I'm American.
J0gby 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
isn't cocaine made from rice?
vistamar 3
19 fails at life.
Zya_fml 8
19 - No...
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
Ya wow is right. That is a really good deal
GuitarFail123 9
ik just wow, shes an "interesting" mother...
ganksta_ikm 1
Ops' mom is scarface on crack
blanquito 1
tempting offer...
Susieee_Q 9
Definitely more interesting than most moms....
whitesox365 0
meth monkeys should stick to their game and not sell crack.
hydef14 2
lol seems legit did you make the trade?
yuvaluv 0
youre mothers stupid
anorexicbarbie 8
Nice comment.
cc_the_beast 6
Cocaine's a hell of a drug...
cc_the_beast 6
Cocaine's a hell of a drug...
imustbeinsane 2
CHARLIE MURPHY
IamSasquatch 0
I wouldn't grind my feet into somebody's couch like it's something to do... Sure, I remember grinding my feet into Charlie Murphy's couch!
nahgemoohc 17
she's one of a kind, she is.. well, now you know who the neighbourhood drug dealer is..
tkdgold03 5
or the neighborhood rice dealer? ...
GuitarFail123 9
lol i think she should talk to charlie sheen.
Sacurason 0
I wasn't aware that you could buy more crack with a person's soul.
Jonscarl 0
what ever she's smoking I want some
J0gby 0
number 37and 38 can't take a damn joke...
bluekid7 5
take it op, it's heaven in a bag!!!
zendaddy0 0
ITS A TRAP
reggicm 0
No 191, they just don't like stupid jokes.
baseball6917 8
da ****? and I thought my parents were bad...
KKMH 3
go **** ur self 16
woosah 16
I wasn't aware that op's mother is the devil. who asks for ones soul.... devil mother
JuggaletteKlown 0
If it was real coke that'd be awesome!! is her mother trying to emply that doing drugs is like selling your soul? she deserves to be slapped.
wtvr 2
haha no 16, awesome!!
poopyfacegirl 28
Wow
ilovecookies83 0
Get her help :|
NuTrees 9
it sounds to me like she's trying to set up a senario. OP just made it seem like him mom is a lune.
LunaNstars 0
I think the mom just watches a lot of Supernatural on TV. she may be thinking she's a demon...
iSitt 0
sounds like op's mom got that idea from a bible study pamphlet.
Mysanitywins 10
I love Supernatural..
fadingaway 17
Supernatural is the best.
humzizzl3 0
lol like that's normal, creepy mothers :/
Cokie_the_Clown 5
Maybe OP's mom is a ginger, and really wanted a soul.
rachelmacivor 0
I agree, he was setting somthing up. to the op I think if I knew you I would hang out with your mom more than you.
KarWitz 0
your mom isn't very smart buddy.
customparachute 0
yea she is...? trying to teach you children not to do drugs is the smartest thing any parent can do. albeint, that is a weird way to go about it...
KarWitz 0
Obviously, no child would take any drug from there mother if they know better. And No mother would offer drugs to their child unless she's mental, or crazy.
Garyy_fml 11
How would you give her your soul exactly?
kemmons88 0
Blood oath with a voodoo priest. Duh
Newboyz00185 0
I'd go for it....
HolylCow 0
and your black...
Doortje 30
Sounds like a great deal.
mexicotoucher 7
ikr. it's cocaine rice!
LuukBaas 0
haha nederland is baas!
FurryPride 9
Is op a Ginger?
mashamanya 0
omg. bahahahahah ^This.
addiizcherry 0
Say yes for the free rice!! Then dye your hair red... Lol BTW i'm ginger
EYEoftheTIGER22 1
Thats kinda freaky
uncleyuggles 0
free rice. being freaked out is a small price to pay for free food
TheKunitzShow14 6
woah I was listening to rise against when I read this comment haha
xXSillyLoveXx 0
And was she smoking some of that cocain..?
iLove2LoveU 0
I'm gonna guess she was smoking some of it
kobe24doinwork 0
just curious, how do you go about smoking a bag of cocaine?
jamieleigh_315 0
u can smoke it inject it snort it..
xXSillyLoveXx 0
31, Exactly.
dotDotMyCurve 0
sounds like she needs a shrink or someone should tell her what cocaine looks like...
magikarpman 0
damn I'd dot dot those curves ;)
ribbyc80 0
seriously 73.... that's pathetic.
magikarpman 0
lol that's what I was going for
Pawned71 0
I like her pic
chronicBuD420 0
damn, your fine(:
chronicBuD420 0
hey your hella fine(:
kiitykat 8
what is it??
kiitykat 8
oh nevermind i just got it
ChiFan96 3
blondes..............
fmyli 0
its not a bad deal cause if you buy it part of your soul will be gone anyway