Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML

Boozehound

Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

Delusional

Today, my mom is 100% positive that she saw me meeting up with a stranger and buying some kind of drug from "him." I didn't even pass by anyone on my walk. I went to get dollar store pizza, because I can't afford to buy any decent food this week, let alone drugs. FML

ADMIT IT!

Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML

Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML

Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML

Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML