Today, my dad taught me how to swim. I had to keep doing a lot of strange movements to keep my body floating. While doing that, two 8-year-old girls came and asked me if i needed help getting out of the water. I'm a 20 year old guy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to go take swimming lessons because my mom has a fear I'll drown and I'm totally afraid of swimming anyway and never get anywhere near water. My instructor? A high school classmate of mine. My fellow swimming classmates? 5 and 6 year old kids. FML
Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Today, on a date, I told the guy I could swim. He suggested we race. I agreed to impress him. I jumped in, immediately panicked, inhaled water, and had to be helped out by a 10-year-old with floaties. He asked if I lied about anything else. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going swimming with friends. She told me, in front of them, not to go into the deep end unless there was an adult around because I'm not old enough to swim on my own. I'm 19. FML
Today, we were slowly introducing my daughter to the pool to help her get over her terrible fear of water. My father-in-law scoffed, called us pussies, and tossed my daughter straight into the water. When I threw him out, he insisted he was just trying to teach her to swim "the right way." FML
Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year-old boy. Three times. FML
Today, my mom signed me up for a swimming class to show my sister there's nothing to be afraid of. Considering I'm 17, I assumed I'd be in an advanced class. Instead, I get to spend summer blowing bubbles in the shallow end with four-year-olds as my little sister cheers me on from the steps. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
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Top comments
Catcherchick94 0
Get yourself some arm floaties! Or next time don't try to practice swimming in a public pool.
marinus_fml 20
Totally reminds me of Dr.Sheldon Cooper who taught himself to swim with the Internet and practiced on the floor in his apartment.
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Comments (108)
Catcherchick94 0
Get yourself some arm floaties! Or next time don't try to practice swimming in a public pool.
genesisnirvana 11
I can't stop laughing at the image.
D37H100 5
Well.. Atleast somebody offered to help right?
LordGoober 13
Water wings all the way
tatababe 1
Get one of those duck floaters
baddud300 6
Atleast your learning.
max_wilder 9
What kind of person doesn't know how to swim after the age of 5
je_suis_fml 11
88- all sorts.
Delannnnnnnnnie 0
Lol, rubber duckies would be a good choice:)
bowwowpug 0
How strange were the movements you were doing?
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
I think OP is practicing the "Best Stroke" instead of the "Breast Stroke".
bowwowpug 0
That would defiantly make it look like he was struggling to get out of the water.
ThatOneCanadian 0
Iclicked YDI as soon as I saw "I was learning to swim." If you're old enough to use this site, you should be able to swim.
Stonedmanalex 0
What if your whole life you never had the chance to be around a pool of water big enough to even practice
ThatOneCanadian 0
Well then you'd have to be living in the middle of nowhere, because virtually every city has a pool somewhere in it.
slappymojo 0
I don't know how to swim? do u know how to skate and do a kickflip? every community usually have a skatepark unless you live in the middle of nowhere exactly.
ThatOneCanadian 0
actually i do skate :/
bowwowpug 0
Actually your retarded.
threer 30
You're* Irony..
TorontoChik 0
Aw it's ok..don't feel so bad..I don't know how to swim either..you're probably better at it then I am.
iheartbewbies 0
How the **** do people not know how to swim.
DCFan 9
^^Easy Michael Phelps.. I guess people arn't as perfect as you and your merman body. Take a chill pill and swim a lap, douche bag.
iheartbewbies 0
It's not that hard to swim.. Even if you haven't learned how to swim, as you get older it comes more natural.. People who can't swim at that age, well, who knows what they've been doing their whole life.
DCFan 9
...Now your pulling facts out of your ass.
StopDropNRoll 11
I get the same feeling! Cause I know a few people that can't swim and they are 20 and know 3 year olds that can swim and are fairly natural at it
TorontoChik 0
Not all parents taught their kids how to swim..so learn to relax buddy...
cc_the_beast 6
It's a weird thing as an Aussie hearing about adults that can't swim, in AUS EVERYONE knows how to swim. Differences in lifestyle I guess...
Sketchisan 27
A lot of people don't spend enough time around water to need to learn how to swim. I know in my town, most of the public pools closed years ago. There's only one left and not everyone has access to it. I didn't learn how to swim until I was 18 and I didn't start driving lessons until I was 26. Any other milestones I should be tripping over myself to get done, please let me know. I've got LOADS of time to fritter away.
disco2466 8
hey 31 I'm from Australia to and I know a few people that don't know how to swim some people never got the chance to learn and some are actually afraid of the water because of it. Op at-least your learning don't listen to the haters better late then never!
saidin 1
Unfortunately not true at all. I have two friends who can't swim at all, and they're both over 23.. I can't even comprehend how their parents could've been so neglectful!
itschrisssybro 8
Same as New Zealand, but everyone is different :)
itschrisssybro 8
Great, my comment made no sense. How awkward.. But don't be too hard on yourself op I know a lot of people who can't swim & we have a lot of access to water everywhere. Everyone is different :)
EnterNameHere001 5
dude I'm some fat **** who sits on the couch all day and even I know how to swim it's pretty basic stuff /:
christiebaby578 9
I have a friend, and when he was younger his dad (who is now in jail for other reasons) tried to "teach" him how to swim by throwing him into a lake and leaving him there. He almost drowned. He's completely terrified of water since that incident, and no, he doesn't know how to swim- with a perfectly good reason.
skyeyez9 25
Doing The Napoleon Dynamite dance in the pool wont help you swim.
iheartbewbies 0
What the hell does Napoleon have anything to do with this.. Wasn't he from like the 1800's
BelleBelle_fml 11
#13- Either you made an attempt at sarcasm, or you don't get out much.
iheartbewbies 0
Attempt at sarcasm. I've watched Napoleon Dynamite many, many times :p
ugottaluvme 0
You stole Flockz picture. That violates all the rules.
marinus_fml 20
Totally reminds me of Dr.Sheldon Cooper who taught himself to swim with the Internet and practiced on the floor in his apartment.
StopDropNRoll 11
Hey he is one of the greatest minds of the 21st century! =P
MangoRico1 1
Did you have those arm flippers on?
BelleBelle_fml 11
Arm flippers?
StopDropNRoll 11
Yea new thing..
Zaffro 8
20 and can't swim... Damn
BaileyBabyBear 6
I know how you feel only that's what happens when I ice skate and I'm like -.-
Franco24 0
- dear penthouse...
ndhin831 2
so wrong yet so funny
EGORAPTOR 7
When I swim I doggy paddle lol