Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML

Priorities

Today, I was feeling depressed. I overheard my mom crying on the phone. She said, “If my daughter kills herself, who’s going to do the dishes?” FML

Today, my mother straight up admitted that she would murder me if God told her to. FML

Mom of the year

Today, I was feeling suicidal and needed to talk to someone about it, so I called up the only person in the world who cares about me: my mom. Or so I thought. Her immediate response was, “You should go ahead and end it.” FML

Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML

Today, my mom duly informed me I'm the reason people have middle fingers. FML

Today, my mom told me that if I wanted to commit suicide, I should make it seem like a car accident, and not do it in the house, because she would be too embarrassed if people thought she was a bad parent. FML

Today, my mom said that if I wasn't her daughter, she probably wouldn't even like me. FML

Today, my mom reached the lowest point of her midlife crisis. She convinced herself she's psychic and grounded me for something she "knows" I'm going to do. FML

Thanks for the support!

Today, I told my mom that I struggle with depression. She then told me that she thinks that I always seem to suck the life out of a room. FML