Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML
Today, my mother is such a helicopter parent, she wouldn’t let me go to my first appointment with my new gynaecologist without being in the room, to “keep an eye on him”. When I told her to stay out, she started screaming in the waiting room that I was going to be raped without her there. FML
Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
Today, for the fifth time in a row, I woke up screaming from a nightmare. My mother burst into my room, leaned in real close and said, "So help me God, if you do not stop fucking screaming, I will rip your arms off and beat you with them." I’m never sleeping again. FML
Today, my mom had me arrested in the most humiliating way ever, in my nightgown, with no bra. She pushed me out her vagina, and now her life. FML
Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML
Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML
Today, I went into the house, only to hear my mother shouting "DON'T PINCH MY NIPPLE" at the top of her lungs in the shower. FML
Today, my mother straight up admitted that she would murder me if God told her to. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Nudi_fml 13
Sounds reasonable
mnblkjpoi 0
That seems legit.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (212)
ILoveTabz 0
Ummmm
Bossman11 6
If that's your real number you're an idiot
lulzmylife 4
Uh, I'm not sure if this really belongs in the "intimacy" category. I can't think of anything less intimate than rape. But needless to say, your mom is dead wrong. If you're ever attacked, fight like hell. Scream for help, scream "FIRE!", scream obscenities, kick, punch, knee him in the balls, gouge his eyeball out, do whatever it takes. The policeman who visited the self-defense class I took in college taught those of us with long fingernails to use them to gouge and twist, which can also be particularly effective on sensitive areas.
HomeAl0ne 20
Yeah, from my perspective I would have put it in the 'Work' category.
marcychick 0
Lol
Smidgery 5
:) My dad told me to always carry a sharpened pencil with me so I can stab anyone who comes near me. Most girls get rape alarms or in extreme cases maybe a pen knife. I get a pencil... and some self defence lessons. xD
merryhappy1887 20
i think she's over reacting, but i carry a small knife & i've been told that you should yell "FIRE!", because you're more likely to get help then if you just scream.
Superllama12 11
Note to self: do NOT forget to superglue the eyes shut after you cut their boobs off
thejedi08 10
ok... i think she is telling you something but idk quite what it could be yet....
iftheglovefits 0
(Insert Witty Comment Here) Uhhh... I got nothin.
kiakia0131 23
Sorry, someone beat you to the "I got nothing" comment . They won.
patriciadusud_fml 8
What about if he's go a huge knife, and you are alone in your room and house.... Not sure you will be screaming, not sure you will be hitting......
floordrobe 5
Of course you'll still fight back if you're isolated in your house. Most people assume that when you scream, it's so people can come to help you. It's not. It's mainly to unnerve the offender, and trigger his or her fear of being caught. This is ESPECIALLY true when the rapist has a knife, as they're already ruled by fear and inadequacy (they feel they can't overpower you without it). Granted, it would be a foolish move to fight when you have a knife to your throat, but if you play by the rapist's script (you being helpless) for long enough that he lets his guard (and the knife) down, THEN it's time to scare the shit out of him and fight tooth and nail.
angel1234567 10
It's not rape if you liked it
lustheart 7
Smh**
charlotte100 2
Never scream, and struggle or try to escape either. u want to make the abduction as easy as possible for the rapist.