Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was yelled at by my mum for not wanting to get a spray tan for my cousin's wedding because if I don't, I will "shine like a beacon of disrespect" among the other attendees. FML
Today, my mom told me that my new concealer is way too dark and makes my skin look hideously orange and uneven. I wasn't wearing any makeup. FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML
Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML
Today, my mother refused to talk to me because I wouldn't let her use my deodorant stick. FML
Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the Devil tempted her. FML
Today, I was called a wimp for getting a sunburn. FML
Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
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Top comments
0ops_i_died 8
Tell her she's slowly giving herself high blood pressure from freaking out about shit that's not a big deal
gc327072 31
Because fake tan stuff has UV rays within it! That's how it works! Duh!
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Comments (137)
FightingCanuck 2
I think the fact that you're turning orange just may freak her out. Lol can't blame her ;)
nikkinurse 10
Tell her you don't tan- it is bronzed like lotion or blush- she is just worried about you- I had the same exchange with my mom :)
Xalandra 17
....wow Your mom is an idiot. Sorry OP. And to everyone assuming bronzer is spray tan...it's not. It just makeup. No fake orangeness involved if you do it right.
watchasay71 4
bronzer is makeup, not tan. it goes on the face....
Mademoiselle_fml 34
Guys, bronzer isn't a fake tan or anything. It's just makeup you apply on your face, usually to add contours or a natural, "sun-kissed" glow to your cheeks and forehead. You will -not- look like Snooki or an oompa-loompa if you use it (correctly).
AlexJenner16 2
Bronzers are ALOT better than going and getting spray tans or going in the beds. Cancer really sucks and no one should ever have to go through it. My cancer was caught early so I was fortunate, but many are not as lucky.
BlackBlazeCobra 16
She just doesn't want you to look like an Oompa Loompa and Snooki's lovechild. If you want to tan, do it naturally. And be careful.
Xalandra 17
Doing it "naturally" also causes skin cancer... there is no "safe" tan. Bronzer or fake tan is your best option. However bronzer is preferred cause you're a lot less likely to come out looking like an orange.
baden18830 5
No worries, it doesn't give skin cancer lol. Just expect a lot of snookie jokes about how fake you look. Have fun!
denden_mushi 11
There are some makeups that do have cancer chemical stuff in it. Maybe she watched something about it and doesn't want you to wear it anymore?
yelyahellen 2
Kutleven.