Today, I helped a man with a neck brace get on the bus. I fell asleep, only to wake up later on to him gratuitously stroking my breasts with his elbow. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML
Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML
Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML
Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the train and accidentally wound up resting my head on a strange man's shoulder. When I woke up, I discovered that not only did he not object, but he decided to return the favor by resting his hand on my thigh. I was wearing a skirt. FML
Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML
Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the bus taking me home after a long hard day at work. I woke up with my head on a stranger’s shoulder, drooling. The worst part? The stranger was my crush from college, who I haven’t seen in years. Turns out we have the same bus route. FML
Today, I got on the bus. Before I could make it to a free seat, the driver hit the gas, and the sudden movement caused me to stumble and accidentally grab onto another passenger for support. She didn't appreciate this, accused me of molesting her, and got me thrown back off. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
What else could you possibly expect after falling asleep on a public bus? Don't you watch ****?? Don't you know what kind of things people like every1luvsboners are capable of? No offense, Boners...
perdix 31
Elbows? I'd have put my hands down your shirt, but that's just me.
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Comments (61)
DocBastard 40
What else could you possibly expect after falling asleep on a public bus? Don't you watch ****?? Don't you know what kind of things people like every1luvsboners are capable of? No offense, Boners...
boopityboppity 11
That law only applies to *people,* every1luvsboners.
VinegarStrokes 0
Holy shit Doc! If what you say is true then I'm on my way to the bus stop right now!!! God bless America! Am I right?
redbluegreen 41
Virgin alert.
TwoZeroOZ 2
You just need to learn to be more tolerant, everybody shows their appreciation in different ways!
VinegarStrokes 0
Seriously though, when I appreciate someone I make sure they thoroughly understand by gently rolling back the foreskin of my very long and very uncircumcised penis and lightly tapping an exposed area of their skin with the previously hooded head of my penis so as to allow them to feel the concentration of fallic mucus that has formed beneath the foreskin to lubricate the shaft and moisturize the skin. The recipient of this honorable gesture is aware of the intensity of appreciation by the amount of mucus that has been discharged onto their body. Oh man, this dude at the grocery store let me have the last pint of my favorite ice cream after both reaching for it simultaneously yesterday- you should have seen how appreciated that guy felt!! he was wearing a long sleeve turtle neck so when you got a few feet away from him the fallic mucus glistened on his cheeks under his eyes like enormous tears that slowly rolled down his face and came to a rest in a pool on the lip of his turtleneck's collar. It was beautiful to know I could touch people so delicately in return for kind gestures and sweet favors. Only in America! Am I right?
alex_jaguara 33
Stop it! Get some help!
ilikeyouuu 0
isn't showing appreciation wonderful! <3
Laylette 21
I can't believe I just read that, let alone that someone sat down and wrote that.
TwoZeroOZ 2
I think he means that most people dont associate breasts and 'stroking'
ThatLooksSticky 16
I'm sure it was an accident. Elbows have a mine of their own!
hahachun 4
I bet you'd wish someone would stroke your breasts
bman134 0
that's messed up we are all thinking it but you didn't have to say it
4bidden 0
you wouldnt **** the shit outta that hot blond? damn whats the world coming to?
redbluegreen 41
You cannot be serious.
Doortje 30
After all these "I fell asleep in the bus/train/library/etc. and then __________. FML" FMLs, you'd think people would be smart enough not to fall asleep in public anymore.
Anteezy 7
I fell asleep while driving my car the other day, thank God no one tried to stroke my breasts.
boopityboppity 11
You fell asleep while driving? I'm surprised you didn't submit an FML about running into a house.
perdix 31
Elbows? I'd have put my hands down your shirt, but that's just me.
KikiThePug 0
Mm.. Enjoy it while it lasts!
surferchick96 0
well ur a deep sleeper...