Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was yelled at by my mum for not wanting to get a spray tan for my cousin's wedding because if I don't, I will "shine like a beacon of disrespect" among the other attendees. FML
Today, my mom told me that my new concealer is way too dark and makes my skin look hideously orange and uneven. I wasn't wearing any makeup. FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML
Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML
Today, my mother refused to talk to me because I wouldn't let her use my deodorant stick. FML
Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the Devil tempted her. FML
Today, I was called a wimp for getting a sunburn. FML
Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
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Top comments
0ops_i_died 8
Tell her she's slowly giving herself high blood pressure from freaking out about shit that's not a big deal
gc327072 31
Because fake tan stuff has UV rays within it! That's how it works! Duh!
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Comments (137)
chellyX92 8
Bronzer as in the makeup? My mom actually recommended that I begin to use some during the winter months. I'm sorry though OP maybe she'll understand if you explain theres no radiation in it.
KM96 24
Sorry mum ... GLUM FACE
perdix 31
Your mom's an idiot. Everyone knows that bronzer gives you herpes.
ICastillo 25
Herpes are forever to. So you use bronzer once and it lasts forever.
marquez_jasmine 6
Lol
frottiejoy 7
maybe she knows something you dont
Jordanln97 9
Hehe. Tantrum.
CountMango 5
We need DocBastard here.
KiddNYC1O 22
Once he removes his ass from your face, you'll see him.
nachosbabygurl 9
your moms immature
sirlime 1
You're only giving yourself cancer if you think that fake ass white person tan is going to protect u from UV rays that exist anywhere outside! But then again that is how u actually get tan
SenselessPattern 12
*Massages forehead* ...Good try, but lets work on getting the details when you (hopefully) reread it again.
wubbazugg 5
No you're just a fake.