Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, my mother has taken her drug paranoia to a new level. She threw away an open but nearly full bag of dried mint because she's sure I emptied and refilled the bag with marijuana to hide it from her. She then tried to ground me in my own house in front of my wife and daughter. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML
Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML
Today, my angry ex-girlfriend ordered a bong to my house in my name. I came home to my parents screaming at me, demanding to know where "the weed" was. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Nicolasaur726 21
Ah, double standards, gotta love 'em.
nphill82 21
Sharing is caring!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (100)
Drosophila82 18
Are you happier than her flushing it down the toilet... At least she's cool enough to smoke it.
hamurobby82 8
i submitted this exact FML weeks ago and here it is, posted by a completely different person. Whats that about????
hamurobby82 8
like literally word for word lol
linnie_wesker 20
If you're underage YDI for sure. I smoke but if I had an underage kid and caught them doing it I would lose my shit too. It's not hypocrisy, it's trying to be a decent parent to a kid with a brain that is still developing.
Miss_Mandi 29
#27 nailed it. I don't know what the legal age is in your country, OP, but if you're underage then I'm sure they want to protect you. Weed is harsh on a developing brain. Hopefully, you do your research on it since you like it. Then, when you're of age (and of course if you are now) you should definitely join in. I hear it makes for great bonding time. :)
the_real_dvd 21
Amen. I enjoy a bowl every now and then, but I sure as hell ain't gonna sit by and let my kids enjoy what should be an adult activity. It isn't hypocritical. It's good parenting. The same way I wouldn't let them smoke tobacco or drink alcohol. When they're older and the fully understand the repercussions and responsibilities associated with these activities, I might enjoy it with them. PS. This comment was was written under the influence of a bottle of wine and a fat bowl of bud.
Patriots21 14
27, to be honest, I hate everything about your comment. Couple points here. One, the brain is far from being done developing at age 18, it continues into the late 20s. Secondly, being a parent shouldn't stop once your kid hits 18, being a parent is a lifelong commitment.
Overlord247 20
39, after age 18 thy are considered adults. 27, or any parent for that matter, can't exactly keep treating their kids like kids well into their 20's.
juturnaamo 29
Agreed. My parents tried giving me crap for occasionally smoking cigars after I was out of the house. I didn't feel I smoked enough for a significant impact, so the lectures did nothing.
linnie_wesker 20
39 lol no, stop. I didn't say the brain stops developing at 18 and I certainly didn't say you should stop being a parent when your kid turns 18. Also I never even said anything about being 18, I said underage, you apparently don't realize not everyone lives in 'Murica. Calm yourself.
hberri331 18
Just say no to drugs.
Death69 24
Hypocrisy at its BEST!
Fishin_for_Coins 7
Sounds like something my parents would do. That sucks OP, but it'd probably be a story to tell at parties.
kaseyyeahh 7
As a pothead and a soon to be mom, i wouldnt react that harshly but i would confiscate it, and smoke it cause its mine now. its not hypocritical depending on your age. if my kid is under my roof they follow my rules. I love weed, but not until the kid is of age, or more importantly done school.
LordMinion 9
Nice message to send your child "You're not in trouble, but I'm taking this away because it's bad for you. I'm also going to smoke it in front of you because I can.". Way to set an example, mom! It's really sad that somebody who is clearly proud to call themselves a pothead has reproduced. p.s. Your grammar and lack of typing is atrocious. Lay off the dope, Kasey.
LittleRed79 39
Well 35, if you're still smoking while pregnant then you're already exposing your child to it.
kaseyyeahh 7
I am obviously refraining while pregnant, dumbass.
kaseyyeahh 7
they would still be in trouble, just i wouldnt go on a screaming triade and threaten to take their door off, hence the 'i wouldnt react that harshly'. id explain that while marijuana is fine, not til they are of age and done school. but i also plan to have this conversation before i find any weed so they understand. and i didnt say id smoke it in front of them just that id smoke it. theres nothing wrong with that. thats being a responsible parent. of course attack grammar, couldnt think of anything valid to say? just cause i enjoy pot doesnt mean ill be a bad parent. grow up.
kaseyyeahh 7
you kids are adorable. youll see when youre older. youd rather your parents scream and threaten to call the cops and flush your stash, or calmly explain that you need to wait til youre an adult? and why wouldnt i keep it, thatd be a waste. im not about to let the kid keep it.
gintwinsmoore 20
Sounds like an episode from That 70's Show to me...
jk_waks23 19
I am assuming you are too young to be smoking weed or something ,no idea! And probably she doesn't want you to be doing all that under her roof! Time to move out !