Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML
Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML
Today, my mom spent over $200 getting me tested for every drug in the book. All because I admitted to smoking a single cigarette two years ago. FML
Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my parents found cigarettes in my car. After a long argument lasting over an hour, I convinced them that they weren't mine and that I don't smoke. A few minutes later, I went to work. Guess who decided to visit me during my smoke break. FML
Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML
Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
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Top comments
dobiesFTW 1
watch out for the guy saying, "rehab? you came to rehab for cigarettes? I used to suck dick for coke. have you ever sucked dick for cigarettes?!"
alunajoy 5
Rehab just for cigarettes?
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Comments (336)
lovelylexxii 0
cigarettes are dumb. if you wanna smoke, smoke weed.
jcwolney 0
everone can **** off there us alot of worse things out there like weed it can give you lung cancer it just doesn't habe as high of risk as cigs plus it makes u ******* stupid I'm only 17 and love smoking cigs and I will do it till the day I die
JadeyBabey01 0
all you americans are so dumb, you know nothing. go to burger king where you belong and stop trying to make yourselves look like you have an ounce of intelligence in your overly massize bodies.
ladyvader401 5
Luckily, some of us worthless Americans are still able to find the "Shift" key, making us look as though we have at least a few ounces more intelligence than the likes of you. ;-)
elictrogeek 0
Wow, you little racist prick, I take offence to that. I am quite intellegent and I am nowhere near fat, so why dont you take your racist comments out of here.
5t3ff1k4h 47
283, **** off. I'm not even American and I take offense to that. Leave it to you Brits to be snobby and stuck up. You're no better than anyone else here, regardless of where they're from. Actually, with that comment, you're worse than most people here.
ryderburt 2
it's obviously cuz he's Indian, Indian parents are psycho when sonething that they don't like happens. and his name is goodie2shoes ?
paultheman 0
I smoked for like a year and just quit 1 day u don't need rehab! I just got realy pissed at everyone after my last smoke
dougierocks 13
tell her no, no, no...
tboudre 0
she related to my wife?
stryfe10 2
your mom is stupid. who sends someone to rehab for cigarettes
MischiefManaged 0
they.tried to make me go to rehab but I said no, no, no.
stormin972 0
A joint would be better than a blunt. Then you don't have the tobacco. And for the OP, rehab should be easy for you since you don't smoke.