Today, my mom came home from surgery. Upon arriving home, she flashed a paper in my face and said, "Want to see pictures of my colon?" My eyes are still burning. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I showed my girlfriend some old home videos of me as a kid. My dad must have taped over one though, because halfway through it cut to extremely graphic footage of his colonoscopy. FML
Today, my mother sent a picture that was meant for her husband. I cannot unsee what I have seen. FML
Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML
Today, I am recovering from surgery, so even though my mom could burn cold water, I was forced to let her cook for me. Thanks to her cooking, I’ve now shit my body weight in brown water, and I need her help to get on the toilet. She doesn’t always get me there in time. FML
Today, my coworker showed me photos of her anal fissures. I'm not a doctor. FML
Today, I had debilitating stomach cramps and told my mom, but she said she was too tired to take me to the ER. I had appendicitis. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, after having horrific constipation the day before, I finally got the rock hard turd out of my system. Things got awkward as I cried out in pain and my mom asked me what was wrong. Realizing the dining room and kitchen was nearby, I said "Never mind, it's gross!" I think she figured it out anyways. FML
Today, I crawled into my mom's room to tell her my stomach was in massive pain. She ended up throwing me out of the room while spraying me with Lysol. My appendix was about to burst and I needed surgery. FML
Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in the military, I receive an email from my mother. Attached was a picture of a toilet full of green shit, with a message from my mom saying, "Seen neon poo before? Thought I would share!" FML
Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Was she bending over and spreading her ass-cheeks open?
bbedlock_fml 7
Want to see my colon? :
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Comments (79)
Tektite 14
Think of happy thoughts.. That's the only way to cure the horrible memory of seeing that!
DontForgetMe4 0
She should sell it online. I heard people can have a colon fetish.. Make a fortune.
aissie 2
Show me yours and I'll show you mine.
MandyMeow_fml 18
Shit happens..
astralvagan 20
I can't imagine how you're ever gonna rinse that from your mind. I don't think there's enough anal sex **** to make up for it
XxHoPPoxX 8
Sik invite
Torva_fml 16
Just letting you know that you spelled you're wrong, in your profile. Fail insult, I'm proud to be gay.
XxHoPPoxX 8
Cool story bro
t765234 10
Was it goatse?
perdix 31
That's "The View" that is only slightly worse than the one with Whoopi Goldberg.
paschale 7
Wonder what part of your poor mother's body was burning after a colonoscopy?
MerrikBarbarian 9
The colonoscopy doesn't hurt- its the prep that kills you. 1 gallon of laxatives. Go lightly is a cruel misnomer.
thiscrazything 1
Poor you. Should have run away screaming.
Enoth 6
Your mom is a quirky person!