Today, my mom came home from surgery. Upon arriving home, she flashed a paper in my face and said, "Want to see pictures of my colon?" My eyes are still burning. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I showed my girlfriend some old home videos of me as a kid. My dad must have taped over one though, because halfway through it cut to extremely graphic footage of his colonoscopy. FML
Today, my mother sent a picture that was meant for her husband. I cannot unsee what I have seen. FML
Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML
Today, I am recovering from surgery, so even though my mom could burn cold water, I was forced to let her cook for me. Thanks to her cooking, I’ve now shit my body weight in brown water, and I need her help to get on the toilet. She doesn’t always get me there in time. FML
Today, my coworker showed me photos of her anal fissures. I'm not a doctor. FML
Today, I had debilitating stomach cramps and told my mom, but she said she was too tired to take me to the ER. I had appendicitis. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, after having horrific constipation the day before, I finally got the rock hard turd out of my system. Things got awkward as I cried out in pain and my mom asked me what was wrong. Realizing the dining room and kitchen was nearby, I said "Never mind, it's gross!" I think she figured it out anyways. FML
Today, I crawled into my mom's room to tell her my stomach was in massive pain. She ended up throwing me out of the room while spraying me with Lysol. My appendix was about to burst and I needed surgery. FML
Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in the military, I receive an email from my mother. Attached was a picture of a toilet full of green shit, with a message from my mom saying, "Seen neon poo before? Thought I would share!" FML
Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Was she bending over and spreading her ass-cheeks open?
bbedlock_fml 7
Want to see my colon? :
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Comments (79)
UkuleleMaster 2
My dad did the same thing to me, except he made copies and put them in my room.
dtemple1110 6
Big deal! They have to clean it out before they go into surgery anyways. Clean colon= just another part of the body.
ShyAnn29 15
If it was after a colonoscopy, it's not a surgery, but they do have to clean out the colon, and that's the worst part!
hateevryone 15
what did it look like?
Calyx_fml 22
News anchor Katie Couric did the same thing to the whole country. They gave her a nasty colonoscopy live on air and showed everything. It was gross.
Judasxoxo_tooGay 0
ewh you know you like it ;-)
AlaskaKid95 7
My mom showed me pictures of her hysterectomy...
KiddNYC1O 22
Tell her enough is enough. You've taken enough shit from her today.
bookworm1232 15
My dad did the same thing to me after he had his heart surgery. I didn't have a chance to run screaming from the room with my eyes covered, either, haha. He still shows the before/after pictures to his friends at the coffee shop...
bubo_fml 11
Turn about is fair play...After all, in your childhood, she had to look @ your shitty ass when changing diapers....
Tdevonner 0
I <3 colorectal surgery! ive assited tons of surgeries but after transplants g.i. is my fav...ahh tonight I shall have sweet dreams of running feet of bowel for adhesions and obstructions while watching them squirm from peristalsys :-)