Today, my mom and dad played rock, paper, scissors over who gets to spend the night with me in the hospital tonight while I have surgery. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML
Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML
Today, I'm on bed rest after a major surgery. I can walk to the bathroom but can barely raise my hands. At the hospital, my mom gave this dramatic speech of being there whenever I needed her. When I asked her to come make me breakfast, she didn’t show up til noon then complained I was in a bad mood. FML
Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery, and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML
Today, I woke up to my mother telling me to sit up and get dressed because we had to go before it was too late. I had just woken up from surgery. She didn't want to be stuck in traffic. FML
Today, I'm going to visit my mother in hospital. She broke her hip and my father refused to take her to hospital for 6 days, insisting she would get better. My dog had cancer surgery, which will cost me a whole month's salary. I’m still recovering from 2 major surgeries myself, and my kids are being total dorks. FML
Today, I found out my mom has been telling my entire family I need surgery on my "Labia" instead of my "Labrum". I went from needing shoulder surgery to needing vagina surgery with one group text. Thanks, mom. FML
Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML
Today, my boyfriend's bitch of a mother had surgery and now I'm expected to be her at-home nurse. I haven't been able to sit down for more than 5 minutes thanks to her and I've barely slept. FML
Today, I had 3 teeth pulled. Due to the anaesthesia, my mom came along to drive me home. Halfway through my surgery, she decided to leave and go shopping with her friend. She even left a note with the receptionist, saying that I needed to take on my own adult responsibilities. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Loser has to stay or winner gets to stay? Big difference.
vikky538 29
parents these days... sorrt OP.. hope the surgery goes well..
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Comments (98)
v8nick97 11
I would've just said "If neither of you want to be here, then just leave."
PatheticZombie71 7
Over who gets to, or who has to?
bryanjamieluke 17
In their defence, you get a comfortable bed to sleep on and they have some hard, tiny chair (or even the windowsill sometimes) to sleep on.
Chasing_fml 5
That's actually pretty hilarious, op... They may be trying to lighten you up if you're doom-and-gloomy atm. I hope I'm one of those parents when I have kids.
Chambers1985 13
I don't blame them; who likes hospitals?! I don't. but if my child needed me; I'd be there
zackes 3
1 grp btwn u 'n' them z seriously f'ed up
lmartinez 4
Better to play over who GETS to than who HAS to
darryaz 9
I can tell you from experience you should insist that NEITHER of them stay. The hospital has nurses to take care of you during the night.
russfml 31
That's when you come in and say apache helicopter beats all, now you both have to stay
Turbo_Turtle 14
Really? I have surgery tomorrow morning, and my whole family cleared their schedules (which I don't imagine was easy considering this is a last minute operation) just so they could be with me. It amazes me sometimes how some people can care so much, others so little.