Today, I went to the eye doctor with my little brother. There were only three chairs and one was occupied by a woman. I sat at the far end, but as soon as I sat down, I heard my little brother yell out loud, "I DON'T WANT TO SIT NEXT TO THE FAT LADY!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my brother to the bathroom at a restaurant. The stall next to mine was locked, so I assumed he was still in there. I yelled his name a few times, then banged on the door out of annoyance. I gave up and returned to the table, where he was sitting with a grin. Turns out I just traumatized a poor lady in the stall. FML
Today, I was eating out with my family. I have 2 brothers. Our waitress comes and says, "Look at those 3 handsome young men." I didn't think of it until my 5-year-old brother shouted, " She's a girl!'" FML
Today, an attractive woman sat beside me at the doctor's office. Unfortunately, on my other side was my senile old uncle who can't control his bowels, and after a few uncontrollable farts, she was on the other side of the room. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my best friend. While waiting for it to start, I went on to describe this guy I really liked and how badly I wanted to do him. Just then the girl sitting behind us leans down and says "That's my little brother. So you're the creeper he talks about." FML
Today, I was at the doctor's getting a pap smear and she asked if it was alright if a doctor in training could come in to observe. I was already laying on the table with my feet in the stirrups, so everything was in plain sight. When the man came in to observe, I looked up to see my brother-in-law. FML
Today, I went to a movie with this guy. He was late so the only seats available were the ones in the very front which he refused to sit in. As we were looking for two seats, he spotted one near the back and sat down, leaving me to sit by myself in the front. FML
Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML
Today, I was sitting on a plane waiting for everyone to get on. A cute guy around my age had the option of sitting next to me or an old guy. He gave me a horrified look and immediately sat next to the old man. I got to sit next to his mother. She evil eyed me the whole time. FML
Today, I was sitting on a rather small, uncomfortable bean bag while my friend was sitting on a nice chair. She asked if I wanted to switch seats, not so I could be more comfortable, but because she thought I was too fat and that I would burst the bean bag. FML
Today, my younger brother and I got into a fight over who the favorite child is. My mom overheard, came in the living room and said, "It's your little brother, now shut up." She was serious. FML
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Top comments
blairiofosterio1 10
Considering you were at the eye doctor, he is lucky the fat lady didn't accidentally sit on him. In all seriousness though, he needs to learn some manners!
xxDeeStar 27
Hope you apologized on his behalf & talked to him about it later. As long as you taught him that it was inappropriate, you're doing your part! Good luck!
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Comments (25)
techieloot1 6
well I guess it's time for your brother to live with " fat lady "
TheNoNameGuy 20
I don't get this
xxDeeStar 27
Hope you apologized on his behalf & talked to him about it later. As long as you taught him that it was inappropriate, you're doing your part! Good luck!
blairiofosterio1 10
Considering you were at the eye doctor, he is lucky the fat lady didn't accidentally sit on him. In all seriousness though, he needs to learn some manners!
exotica_realist 3
Did she sing at the end of the appointment ? because it ain't over until the fat lady ... never mind.
blairiofosterio1 10
I see what you did there. OP probably doesn't though....
ham814 8
little kids always seem to know the most embarrassing thing to say at any given moment
firemuncher 19
the joy of little siblings always embarrassing you in public :/
worldclassrager 41
Well it ain't over until the fat lady sings...and she probably spoke up afterwords...sorry OP...it's over...
CLott_fml 6
Well don't be so fat!!
species4872 20
Kids tell it as it is.
TAntobella 14
No, kids tell it as it looks like - that's a big difference.
LAURA_EL_JUICE 6
OMFG I would be mortified!!!!