Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML
Today, while on a picnic with my boyfriend, he got a little drunk. All of a sudden, he got up, pulled his pants down and pissed all over me. His excuse? "Just marking my territory." FML
Today, I found out that even though my boyfriend thinks that peeing on me in the shower is acceptable, he will still freak out and call me disgusting if I try to use the toilet while he's taking a shower. FML
Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML
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Top comments
greenlime_fml 3
3- People aren't saying its dirty to pee in the shower, just that its gross to pee on your gf in the shower.
Badboy6 5
hahaa funny.. lol but nasty u got a weirdo bf
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Comments (146)
rbkhockey33 0
congrats. youre queen of the gingers.
Freeze_fml 17
This boyfriend sounds a lot like your cat.
thedivinecomeD 0
that'll stop the other guys from hitting on you. :) I can imagine it now: -"OOHWEE!!! she is FINE-wait, oh, eww, she smells like piss!!!"
Ucla_cupcake 0
lol
StingrayV 0
poop wagon.
beer01 0
How can he pee on you when he's in a "long distance" away?
CallMeHush 1
Pure talent, and an impressive member.
Bookhaki 0
I'll do it for him. Asparagus go!!!!!!
Laurendorcus 0
This is so weird. Tell him that human males usually "mark their territory" by getting their gfs/wives a ring, or if they're really classy they get eachothers names tattooed on their necks (you know you've seen someone like that before).
jisaac09 25
No, you want to talk bout classy, i seen a girl with "Property of (so and so)" tattooed on her forehead.....
angryseatroll 5
Dude why does it matter. Get that stick out of your ass and get off your high horse.
sighilikepir 0
stfu no one cares what you think ****** snickerdoodles
farsidee 0
**** off snickerdoodles! Gosh, I mean it's not like we're writing essays or something. it's the fricking Internet let people say what they want. Gingers have no souls.
greenlime_fml 3
takw a cHil pil snikerz... bet your itch'n to fix my grammar huh?! xD
jisaac09 25
You dont understand do you snickers??? I dont have to has class, all i has to be is not no bitch bout grammer.....
Loosicles 0
Well, at least it's long-distance.
yoourface 0
^HAHA @ those 2 comments.
Efilyn 0
Repeat FML. ]:
Tkdxxxse 0
hahahah 13 ftw queen of the gingers
mrzero 0
well, now it's your turn. use his toothbush to clean the toilet bowl