Kids: Today, my kids decided putting laxatives in my coffee would loosen...

By burn - 01/08/2011 20:05 - United States

Today, my kids decided putting laxatives in my coffee would loosen me up and calm my nerves. I have a 3 hour long meeting soon. FML

agreeclassic 34 990

vote type 1 3 507

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By Username - 30/04/2011 04:49 - United States

Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML

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By Anonymous - 02/10/2022 15:00

Today, after not having coffee for ages, I finally remembered why I stopped drinking it. I literally just shit my pants, and I’m about to start a ten-hour day with 27 fifth graders. FML

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By sofakingweetodit - 18/10/2010 12:44 - United States

Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML

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By KitKat20 - 18/10/2016 13:05 - United States - Fargo

Today, I got up early for a doctor's appointment and chugged two cups of coffee. Ten minutes before I was supposed to leave, my doctor calls asking to reschedule, which would have been fine had I not cleared my whole day for this appointment. Now I'm too wired to go back to bed. FML

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By Anonymous - 09/08/2022 10:00 - Australia

Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML

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By Tabby Rosas - 21/02/2021 21:30

Today, after 8 days of being on a medication that makes it hard to go to the bathroom and no luck taking laxatives and drinking coffee and apple juice, I finally got to go. Too bad I was at my desk at work when it happened. I washed out my pants in the bathroom and got to sit in wet pants for 4 hours. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/04/2013 23:13 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML

agreeclassic 38 544

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By eminem blows cock - 15/06/2012 16:41 - Ireland - Kilflynn

Today, after having stayed up all night studying, all the coffee I'd drank to keep me awake hit my gut with a vengeance. I ended up missing two exams because I was emptying my bowels into the toilet all morning. FML

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The struggle is real

By WiredUp - 21/08/2020 13:05 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my step-kids proudly announced that their mum lets them drink coffee at her house. They both have ADD and I've been struggling for months to get them to eat right. Hello futility. FML

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Bad day

By it hurts!! - 29/05/2023 21:00 - United States

Today, I double checked with the barista to make sure my latte had soy milk. After a few sips, I could tell it wasn’t but it was too late. I’m so sensitive to dairy, I spent the rest of my work day trying to stifle the gut busting cramps and noxious fumes. I had a meeting I couldn’t reschedule. FML

agreeclassic 926

vote type 1 169

saIty 17

Monday 1 August 2011 23:02

Just let it all out during the meeting. They like it when people express themselves.

mrfunbun01 1

Monday 1 August 2011 23:02

Put lax in their food next time you make them dinner.

Comments

GoneClubbin 9

Monday 8 August 2011 17:57

was it turbo lax?

GoneClubbin 9

Monday 8 August 2011 17:59

I thought all mothers had eyes in the back of their head

Nuahavizu 17

Thursday 11 August 2011 4:28

Looks like you're gonna have a *puts on sunglasses* shitty meeting. YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

drayloon 50

Tuesday 25 June 2013 18:41

Well it loosened something up

HahaNoGoAway 11

Saturday 21 June 2014 4:36

Uhh that's rough. Adult diapers?

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