Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son told me he failed to get into the army, which I didn’t know he was trying to do. Apparently he thought playing Call of Duty non-stop counted as "experience" and that he’d become an officer rank straight away, despite being 10-stone overweight with the brains of a tree stump FML
Today, my 18 year-old son threatened to sue a store because they refused to give him a senior discount, at which point he trashed the store in a blind rage, and got banned for life. That would make more sense if he was actually a senior, not a senior in high school. FML
Today, my son finally got a job for the first time in his life. He only did it so he can upgrade his PC and buy Overwatch. He's 24. FML
Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML
Today, I was pretending to be a veteran for the US Navy at a local outlet, because I was desperate for cheap stuff. All was going well, until an actual vet pointed out that the ship I had on my naval hat was a fictitious one. Shit. FML
Today, my son admitted to maxing out my credit card, gambling on a some scam website that a dumbass streamer was promoting. He's only 10. FML
Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML
Today, after my idiot son joined the army, flew out on deployment, he then flew straight back home again after accidentally shooting himself. His squad leader said it was the most bizarre accident he’d ever seen while still being considered an accident. As I said, my son's an idiot. FML
Today, my son is an idiot, but I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt by giving him a job as a cashier in one of my stores. Within half an hour, I was sent security footage from that store's manager showing my son on his phone, ignoring customers, picking his nose, and stealing money from the till. FML
Today, I finally realized the reason my son's grades have been dropping so much. Every time I drop him off at his tutor's house, they play Call of Duty until I pick him up. FML
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Top comments
JackSkellingtons 11
Well, did he get it?
WeakYoungTeen 21
You raised that...
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Comments (128)
acutter2 1
well if he ever gets something like that when you aren't around, he should be tried under the stolen valor act of 2013. it is a felony charge to impersonate a soldier and receive something of monetary value in return.
Queen_of_Night 20
uh uh, not how it works. Impersonating a soldier is legal, as it is apparently against some people's freedom of speech, see Stolen Valor Act of 2005. Stolen valor only applies if you claim that you were awarded certain decorations with the intention of receiving money, property or tangible goods. It is only a misdemeanor.
ViviMage 40
The US government does not issue IDs for Call of Doodie!
clubbing4life 14
He was most likely joking and if not, ydi for raising him that way.
Chas4739 5
What a noob
TRexYouUp 8
I give him props for trying lmao
LalaDee561 8
He either has a great sense of humor or he's really stupid.
kparker88 6
yeah....that's not even that great. nice try...kid.
thenamesjan 13
Noob. I'm 6th prestige
KatyLarae 13
Let's hope it was just a joke... If not, sorry OP
Mama4ddk 15
OMG idk whats worse, this in very bad taste joke or how homicide people are getting because of it. I'm on my friends account, God love her for allowing it, and am a proud veteran and even I chuckled at this kids cheekiness. Relax, its a silly thing to do to embarrass a mother........ Chill out.