Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son told me he failed to get into the army, which I didn’t know he was trying to do. Apparently he thought playing Call of Duty non-stop counted as "experience" and that he’d become an officer rank straight away, despite being 10-stone overweight with the brains of a tree stump FML
Today, my 18 year-old son threatened to sue a store because they refused to give him a senior discount, at which point he trashed the store in a blind rage, and got banned for life. That would make more sense if he was actually a senior, not a senior in high school. FML
Today, my son finally got a job for the first time in his life. He only did it so he can upgrade his PC and buy Overwatch. He's 24. FML
Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML
Today, I was pretending to be a veteran for the US Navy at a local outlet, because I was desperate for cheap stuff. All was going well, until an actual vet pointed out that the ship I had on my naval hat was a fictitious one. Shit. FML
Today, my son admitted to maxing out my credit card, gambling on a some scam website that a dumbass streamer was promoting. He's only 10. FML
Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML
Today, after my idiot son joined the army, flew out on deployment, he then flew straight back home again after accidentally shooting himself. His squad leader said it was the most bizarre accident he’d ever seen while still being considered an accident. As I said, my son's an idiot. FML
Today, my son is an idiot, but I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt by giving him a job as a cashier in one of my stores. Within half an hour, I was sent security footage from that store's manager showing my son on his phone, ignoring customers, picking his nose, and stealing money from the till. FML
Today, I finally realized the reason my son's grades have been dropping so much. Every time I drop him off at his tutor's house, they play Call of Duty until I pick him up. FML
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Top comments
JackSkellingtons 11
Well, did he get it?
WeakYoungTeen 21
You raised that...
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Comments (128)
Bullshic 8
you deserved it never raise your kid like that.
kingdomgirl94 29
yeah cause every stupid thing someone dies is their parents fault. Are your parents to blame for every act of stupidity you've ever done?
Fr0gs 15
God damn fifth prestige? Better give him what he wants fast and for free ^mad respect
worldclassrager 41
Worth a shot right? It it works I better get back to playing...
badwolf42913 1
You deserve it for not teaching him better
False_Stupidity 42
All you blaming the OP's parenting, you just don't get it do you? A child, especially a teenager is an independent, thinking(debatable) person with their own free will and no matter how well they are brought up, they will occasionally make decisions that are totally contrary to the way they were brought up, either because they are a bit of a rebel, or simply because it seemed like a good idea at the time.
FreeRunn3r 12
you got a good point
trellz17 19
On COD Ghosts I'm 10th prestige! I get discounts at ihop AND free coffee at Dunkin Donuts!
inner_peace 19
It's impudent little punks like OP's son who make me wish that CoD never got as popular. Since when does sitting behind a TV screen with a controller make you on the same status as someone who's actually seen combat, and may have been injured or killed in the process? Holy shit, do kids these days really piss me off.
JKPwnage 27
Dear OP's idiot son, No one cares and Call of Duty sucks balls. Sincerely, Everyone
fantasyworld 39
I hope they laughed at him.
TwentyFourBeerz 18
And I should be able to race the Daytona 500 because I won a go kart race at Speedzone!