Today, I finally realized the reason my son's grades have been dropping so much. Every time I drop him off at his tutor's house, they play Call of Duty until I pick him up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Mixed messages
Today, I learned that my wife lets our son play video games while I'm at work to "keep him out of her hair." We had agreed that he was forbidden from gaming until his grades came up, but apparently she can't be bothered to actually parent. FML
Today, I found out that the student tutor my son advised me to hire was my son's girlfriend. I have been paying her $20 an hour for the last 3 weeks to make out with my son in his room. FML
Today, the mother of one of my students bitched me out about her son's poor grades. He lazes around all day, paying no attention and being a constant nuisance. But, she says it's not his fault, and demands that I give him better grades so he won't get "self-esteem" issues. FML
Today, my dad made me quit my online school classes and go back to public school, because apparently when I'm on the computer, it makes his video games lag. FML
Devil child
Today, after my 14 year-old son brought home six Fs on his report card, we decided to take away all his video games and sell them. He screamed for hours, then went into the kitchen and started smashing glasses against his head, "until we brought back his games." FML
Drowning
Today, my son finally revealed the reason he was always blasting music as a teenager was to drown out the sound of his father and I arguing. FML
Today, my son was smart enough to hack the school's computers to change his midterm, but isn't smart enough to actually keep his grades up. FML
Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML
As he should
Today, I sold all of my son's games and gadgets because he got a horrible report card. It turned out that the school made some sort of a mistake and it wasn't his actual report card. He actually got great grades. I tried to apologize but he told me to fuck off. FML
Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML
Top comments
x_KL_x 7
AH, look on the bright side, he may not get a good grade, but he'll be ready for the zombie apocalypse!
LucianDeSouza 4
Lol i suggest joining him in CoD ? nah just kidding , change tutor , and give him a firm talking .
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Comments (171)
SunnyUserName123 5
Lul'd
marmlr339 14
Fire the tutor, sue him and get a new one!
tylersign 11
At least your son is having a good time. Lol never mind. That doesn't matter. New tutor OP.
Yngve_fml 9
Understandable. CoD is amazing.
yamatelle 19
You Call this tutor and paid him to do his Duty as a tutor so that he can have a Deep Impact on your son's life, but instead he became a Back Stabber and played games with him. My suggestion: Camouflage yourself at night, grab your Bowie Knife and cut his JuggernUt. He will try to Double Tap, but don't stop there. Use your Bazooka or a Sticky Grenade to blow his house up. If anything, you can claim Self Defense.
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
20 - I'd be careful of him if I were you even if you manage to kill him. He could be a Extremely Conditioned Hardened Warlord with a Flak Jacket and get revenge with his Last Stand as a Ghost. You will need a lot of Stopping Power, so Scavenge everything you have, including your old Bandolier and make sure to kill him by a Headshot or Execution.
gojira666 7
Enough.....both of you.
HunterTehBest 0
Y U NO PLAY 3 PLAYER??
cfalen 0
Every gamer needs to learn how to quick scope
humorizer 14
Yeah, but why not go on a RAMPAGE! and try to get as many HEADSHOT!s as possible before player1 killed his own dumb self? Oh wait... wrong game.
freakinglaugher 10
Now you see Jimmy, if I multiply 3xy noobs with my 2y grenades I get 15.8. If X = stop camping, solve for Y.
LucianDeSouza 4
Lol i suggest joining him in CoD ? nah just kidding , change tutor , and give him a firm talking .
ScaughtieHolden 11
Or instead, a firm ass wooping in CoD to bring his K/D down..
D37H100 5
He is obviously learning about the wars ...the awesome way!
starkiller731 2
Tutoring your son how to survive, you should thank him.
suckstoobeyou 0
It's not the sons fault...what tutor offers to play CoD instead of doing there job.... Even I who plays CoD wouldn't want someone im helping to fail in school because I couldn't drag my lazy ass away from my ps3/xbox for the time I'm tottering jim
suckstoobeyou 0
Tutoring* him*
kenjames 4
Tottering Jim, huh? Sounds kinky.
gbreck 0
friendly spy plane inbound...
freakinglaugher 10
Now listen Jimmy, if you multiply 3x 1/100y noobs by my 2y grenades it gives me 156.8. X = stop camping. Solve for Y.
Thebroskii 11
Thatll teach him! Lmao
theslowkid 8
Gotta love CoD!
Justforlolz 14
Agreed. As much as those 360 ladderstall no-scope wallbangs bring tears of joy to us all, Education is more important... Or is it?
SirObvious 1
Gamertag?
PutItIn 8
"Are you ready to learn ? *whisper how to whoop @$$ in COD" "Yea!!" Mom "He's so enthusiastic!" "So what did you learn today ?" "uuuuh survival skills"
dude1122332 9
**** that! Play Cod! Yeah.(:
ItsJSan 3
Sounds like a cool guy
BBGxBlondie 6
Get the boy a new tutor. Hide a camera or something. Tell him before every session, "Enemy spy plane inbound!"
CatEyes66 0
Now that I think about it since I've been playing CoD I can recognize many types of weapons, how they're used, what causes a zombie breakout, and how to kill them. Even though this game is a fantasy I gained some knowledge from it.
DarkHelmet 10
he's only the greatest tutor of all time!!!!
xItsJacobbb 0
Best tutor of all time for the kid and worst tutor of all time for the parents.
torch433 1
sounds like a great guy lol
x_KL_x 7
AH, look on the bright side, he may not get a good grade, but he'll be ready for the zombie apocalypse!
lakaiskate 12
I think every teenage guy is ready for a zombie apocalypse.
kawaiianime 5
Wow. Because girls don't play CoD do they?
ifailplzinsultme 0
And every guy plays CoD? But if we run out of food, I got enough in my room for 3 months
CitrusGirl 0
Girls play CoD. They just don't use their mics cuz they're tired of being harassed online for being a girl playing CoD.
pervypooh 0
That is so true and when I do talk everybody like oh shit it's a girl, cause im usually on the top for KD, while the nubes go negative I be dropping nukes, yes nukes on mwf2 cause blackops obviously doesn't have it.
ImaCanuck 0
If your going to go all keyboard warrior on us about atleast spell "Noob" right like cmon.....
ritzia 4
I play with my boyfriend when ever he plays and he's a gamer.I know allot of girls who play CoD.
CitrusGirl 0
Pretty sure it's most commonly spelled n00b?
BD_Swingin 0
Nah he was on mw2, no zombies :(
NYCM 6
If you meet a girl that can play CoD and beat you. Marry her.
trish09x 0
Hell yeah all the time!
UsernameUnknown 7
Leave him there for the rest of the month and don't pay.
Senior29 8
wow, u shud pay him double!!!
borkchop1992 15
no...he shouldn't
Belovan 2
Again, put on a shirt. I find it odd I've had to tell you twice.
doyers11 0
He is getting him ready to enroll in the military!!!! Your son must not be so smart!!!!!
SpruceDread4578 13
you're an idiot. how does cod and the military go hand in hand? video game does not equal real life. sorry if I come off too cruel, I just hate it when people compare CoD to the actual Armed Forces.
miserypoison 13
Enlist* playing a video-game does not enhance or increase your chances of passing processing stations, training and other tests.
lakaiskate 12
Actually you have to be smart to be in the military. They do not want dumbasses driving around and shooting one another. You have to take an ap test. And if you do not do good enough they don't accept you. Learn before you post shit you ignorant douche. And thanks for calling half of my family idiots.
CitrusGirl 0
The only people who are idiots are ones who sign up and don't make the cut. They're also usually the ones that go around bragging like "don't mess with me, I'm in the military, I'll bring my military friends to beat you up!" The ones that make it are just proud, they don't have to brag because they know they're doing it for their country, not for themselves.
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
For anyone that wants to play that game, look up "America's Army" it's a very old game on PC. It's nothing like CoD. I'm not advertising, I'm just referencing.
blackbelt25 12
To be in the military you need to be smart and I'm training to be apart of the navy seals. I don't think the fact that I've played Cod 4 and Mw2 will guarantee me a spot on the most elite military force ever created. Only if man. Only if,
aFatFuck 0
People in the military are not stupid. However, it is not difficult to be accepted based on academic merit and mental aptitude (not talking about the physical side). For instance the army gives scholarships and will pay you through college - this draws in middle class and poor people that can't afford college. The (mental) tests to get in are no harder than any test to enter a mediocre college. I don't mean to offend, but to be a simple soldier of infantry you don't need to be smart. However, there are many jobs in the military that do require high intelligence like engineers or medical officers. Sorry for the long comment just wanted to make that clear.
babygirlc1 5
It may be time to find another tutor
rattusrattus 19
One who both teaches and has a decent games library.
AssassinPanda69 6
No shit, Sherlock.
Senior29 8
wow, u shud pay him double!!!
OCDC 9
Your parents "shud" have paid your tutor double, obviously the regular fee is not working out for you.
nikkon416 13
Cod is an excellent teaching tool... Problem solving, improper grammar, echelon left.. Haha