Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son told me he failed to get into the army, which I didn’t know he was trying to do. Apparently he thought playing Call of Duty non-stop counted as "experience" and that he’d become an officer rank straight away, despite being 10-stone overweight with the brains of a tree stump FML
Today, my 18 year-old son threatened to sue a store because they refused to give him a senior discount, at which point he trashed the store in a blind rage, and got banned for life. That would make more sense if he was actually a senior, not a senior in high school. FML
Today, my son finally got a job for the first time in his life. He only did it so he can upgrade his PC and buy Overwatch. He's 24. FML
Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML
Today, I was pretending to be a veteran for the US Navy at a local outlet, because I was desperate for cheap stuff. All was going well, until an actual vet pointed out that the ship I had on my naval hat was a fictitious one. Shit. FML
Today, my son admitted to maxing out my credit card, gambling on a some scam website that a dumbass streamer was promoting. He's only 10. FML
Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML
Today, after my idiot son joined the army, flew out on deployment, he then flew straight back home again after accidentally shooting himself. His squad leader said it was the most bizarre accident he’d ever seen while still being considered an accident. As I said, my son's an idiot. FML
Today, my son is an idiot, but I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt by giving him a job as a cashier in one of my stores. Within half an hour, I was sent security footage from that store's manager showing my son on his phone, ignoring customers, picking his nose, and stealing money from the till. FML
Today, I finally realized the reason my son's grades have been dropping so much. Every time I drop him off at his tutor's house, they play Call of Duty until I pick him up. FML
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Top comments
JackSkellingtons 11
Well, did he get it?
WeakYoungTeen 21
You raised that...
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Comments (128)
LostArt655 5
You should tell your son about the stolen valor act it is a crime to impersonate a veteran as well as any military member
treesup 10
I'm 10th prestige and still no discount
abusedbf 0
Stop hating the op's kid . I have served in the real army n seriously don't feel so offended if anything I had a good chuckle . May your son be encouraged to join the Defence forces someday
christyxbee 15
+1 to favorites !
lulinator 40
I hope he was just trying to be stupidly funny (while failing). If not, he deserves a slap up side the head.
splash69_fml 14
He obviously has to be max prestige to get a discount, ******* noob.
ryukk420 1
that's what happens when you don't know how to raise your kid
Bombegranite 14
By far one of my favorite FMLs
Frostillicus123 10
got to.respect the ingenuity.
FreeRunn3r 12
******* top lel