fuck no
Kollam, India 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
cortanaisahobot
Toronto, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Hot and… greasy
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Kinky
Today, my husband asked if we could try food play during sex. I okayed it, thinking it would be the standard squirty cream or chocolate sauce. Let’s just say I was not expecting him to be eating crispy bacon and blue cheese sauce off my boobs. Good Lord, I married a weirdo. FML
Anonymous
Berkeley, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Taste test
Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML
pipers
Northfield, United States
Today, I spent several hundred dollars having our pipes and septic system fixed. Tonight, I watched my husband pour about a half-liter of bacon grease into the sink. Better keep the septic guy on speed dial. FML
disgusted
Harpenden, United Kingdom
The language of love
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
hamburger
Adrian, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Sexy talk
Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML
ch4nny
Sydney, Australia
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML
whatdidimarry
Cardiff, United Kingdom
Today, I caught my husband and the cat licking the butter together. FML
BaconBreathBlonde
United States
And they say romance is dead…
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Top comments
vampgirl999 8
This would be a good time to stop having kitchen sex. Or never start.
JustBecausePie 12
Hey you can't hate it till you try it.
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Comments (105)
olpally 33
Absolutely not... Hell no.
koganti 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Just try it and share yours experience.....: P
MyNameIsLaughter 18
Bacon is Love Bacon is Life Bacon is NOT lube
Frillwee95 12
But there is bacon flavored lube....
townailz 16
He just wanted a tasty treat to eat!
jediKCCO 4
Definably would pass as a American post.
PANDORUM89 21
That's okay but let him know that he then has to smear yeast infection cream on you until that is all cleared up. oh and also no sex while that's happening.
psychedelicdezzy 14
that's what I was going to say
TrapTheKing 16
That's the most wildest things I've ever heard..
DarkJediLove 19
He might be confused because there is actually a bacon flavor lube...
counting_graves 0
So he wants to slather swine fat and sweat on you..... Ugh.
ViviMage 40
Try egg whites, that is actually recommended as a lube if you are out of spit, water, Vaseline, or KY. Just make sure no condoms with oil based lubes!
PANDORUM89 21
eww idky but that thought of snot like egg whites touching me makes me want to vomit. bleeeehhh. ble bleeehhh.
I_Like_Dogs 28
Was the "bleeeh" really necessary?