Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my husband admitting that he doesn’t wash his hands after having diarrhea. I had no prior knowledge of this. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML
Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML
Today, my little cousin told me about how he never wipes his ass, because if he doesn't, he doesn't need to wash his hands. FML
Today, my coworker cornered me in the office bathroom and insisted that, because she's been watching me, I use the bathroom too quickly and must not be washing my hands, and that I have to wash them from now on. FML
Today, my wife bitched at me for not washing my hands before handling the dishes. The dirty dishes. That were sitting in a sink of hot soapy water. According to her, the dirt from my hands was gonna make the dirty dishes even dirtier. Huh? FML
Today, I learned that my roommate, the one in charge of the cooking, never washes her hands beforehand. According to her, it boosts her immune system. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he hasn't showered in over a week, because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that he hasn't showered in over a week because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that he can't remember the last time he took a shower. He then told me he doesn't see the "need" of taking showers. FML
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Top comments
dreamering 16
Tell him that you never wash your mouth after a *******.
miz66independent 1
tell him everytime he shakes hands with a man he's shaking their penis too.
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Comments (56)
Pretty_dead 0
LOL that's gross but now u have an excuse for him not to put his fingers in ur mouth when u tease him
eleventeen11 1
Agree
100percentwhite 0
grow some ******* balls, hypothetical balls, since ur a woman, but still. shit's too sanitary nowadays and that's why people get sick is that they have shitty immune systems. you need to be exposed to some germs to be able to fight off some germs, for ***** sake!
Sniper3000 0
well I must be paranoid
bnutzinger 11
Well, technically, if anything you should wash your hands _before_ you go to the bathroom. Not much sense in doing it afterwards. Your hands are covered in much, much more germs then your junk or waste or whatever you happen to touch while in the bathroom. Just saying.
maclove24 0
tell him you finger your ass then make him dinner
dansco 25
What a dirty basterd! That is discusting! Think his piss is all over you...
unixdude 9
Actually it's only for people who piss on their hands. You do understand that a man can urinate without touching his junk, right?
SweetieMeg2013 0
he just ain't right
thefuckinloser 6
that is ******* sick