Today, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me by maniacally zooming in and out of traffic while we were on his motorcycle. His mood turned to anger when I nervously admitted to having voided my bowels. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
Today, I walked into work looking like I had peed myself, all because my husband thought it would be "hilarious" to slam on the brakes while I was drinking hot coffee. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML
Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML
Today, my husband came out of the bathroom and screamed, "Call 911 because I just murdered this motherfucking toilet!” then laughed hysterically at his own stupid joke. I was on a Zoom meeting at the time. Everyone heard. FML
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
Today, my plan to prank my husband backfired when I forgot about the "pop-its" I left under the toilet seat and set them off. It not only scared the shit out of me, it also woke up my 2 month-old and my grumpy husband. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML
Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
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Top comments
olpally 33
What a crazy bf you have... That's not funny at all that's just flat out stupid and dangerous... Fyl op, how unfortunate, just be glad you only voided your bowels instead of being road kill...
G0odgrief 0
tell your boyfriend that putting you in a terrifying and extremely dangerous situation is not ******* funny.
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Comments (136)
t0rnadeau 4
If your on a bike do stupid shit on your own time, don't drop your girl friend into that mixture
Rocky007 15
YDI for climbing on the donor-cycle in the first place.
jjmiller1001 17
Don't worry about it, one day he will misjudge something or hit some loose gravel and then you won't have an asshole boyfriend
mbrooks5110 0
You need to dump him he's an asshole. He endangered your life, thought is was funny. Horrified you to the point where you went on yourself & got angry at you for his asshatery. This is not the kind of person anyone needs to be with.
Cablo_Gubla 2
Don't date idiots.
missnuthin 10
sounds like HDI (he deserved it)
iTransform 8
Serves his stupid ass right, bet he won't do it again.
EvilDave 13
OP, you deserve it for dating someone like that and he deserves for being like that.
DanielleinDC 34
I'll assume OP has ridden with her boyfriend before, so she had no reason to believe he was going to act like a maniac . He evidently thought it would be funny to give his girlfriend a scare and started driving dangerously. The fact that he thought it would be funny to scare his girlfriend speaks volumes about his personality. Then when he realizes that he literally scared the shit out of her, he has the unmitigated freaking gall to get angry at a situation HE caused? What an asshat. DTMFA. If he wants to ride like a maniac, he can do so alone. Hopefully he won't be doing it for long.
lobum 12
That seems like a really shitty situation.