Today, my husband stabbed me with his unusually long, nasty toenails in the leg while he slept. It took 3 stitches to fix it up, my husband and doctor laughed the entire time. He still refuses to cut them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML
Today, my dad has such thick, horn like toenails that when I stepped on one of the cuttings, it actually stabbed into the thinner skin on the underside of my toe and bled like crazy. FML
Today, I had surgery done to fix an ingrown toenail. When the doctor started cutting the nail, my toe wasn't entirely numb. FML
Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML
Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I refused to let him use my fingernail to clean the plaque off his teeth. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, I painfully watched my doctor burn a hole in my nail to drain the blood underneath. This is the prescribed treatment for the injury of hammering your thumb. FML
Today, years after I stepped on a nail and had the wound stitched, I got an X-ray. I've had serious trouble walking, and it turns out I had 2.5 inches of nail living in the sole of my foot, stabbing up into my ankle joint. I now need major surgery. FML
Today, I was finally able to get around to a totally free day when I could do some much needed DIY around the house. Before I even started, I cut my hand on a Stanley knife almost to the bone, and had to get 8 stitches. My wife thinks I did it on purpose to get out of doing the repairs. FML
Today, my husband brought home a machete. In the process of showing me a trick he learned, he managed to slice a nice big hole in our brand new very expensive sectional. FML
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Top comments
GR3453m0nk3y 4
SLIP SOMETHING IN HIS DRINK AND THEN CUT THEM sorry about the caps, i'd fix it but im too lazy
aback 5
Make him sleep on the couch. Or the porch, if you don't have a couch.
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Comments (126)
Sappheyes 0
I'm going to venture that his hygiene is poor in other ways, as well. To not cut his nails after notably injuring you, is disrespectful towards you as well as being disgusting and filthy (dirt, dead skin, and bacteria trapped under the nails, anyone?). You could have gotten an infection from a cut like that. Does he actually expect you to have sex with him?
Rayn4u_fml 0
I’m also beginning to question this man’s hygiene. OP, I hope you got a tetanus shot as well while at the doctor’s
ColdGold 6
I agree.
Sionnach 10
YDI for not taking a garden shears to his freaky toenails while he slept like any sensible person would have.
biteyourtongue 0
If he's going to harm you, and leave the possibility open of it happening again when he can clearly do something to fix it, there is something wrong with him/your relationship. Especially if it's something like damn toe nails. It's. A. Toenail. It's not a limb. A normal person wouldn't want disgustingly long toenails, and yet he finds them more valuable than your safety? Let his ass sleep on the couch.
myfriend_youfail 3
Hahaha my boyfriend has exactly the same problem. He doesn't cut his toenails for the longest time...but then again, he has a valid excuse. The quick of his nails grows abnormally high on his toes, and clipping his nails often result in increased pressure and pain on the attached part of the nail (sometimes even causes small blood blisters under the skin). So he rarely trims them. But FYL, definitely FYL. He shouldn't have laughed about causing you injury and pain. That's just horrid. Withhold nookie until he cuts his beastly claws, or sleep on the sofa. Or both. Or make him sleep on the sofa. Whatever works.
rhodium 0
That's just ******* disgusting. FYL.
nikkers 0
that is beyond gross i actually feel violated just hearing about them. tell him to cut his big arse claws lol
munim 0
Cut em when HE is asleep!
Valentina525 0
it's gross
mari3644 0
that's gross.
itsme88 0
Gross!!!!! You need to talk to him. It sounds like he's an insenative asshole.