Today, my husband's car was stolen from our driveway while he was out jogging. We'd recently had a huge fight, and he accused me of having done this to get revenge. I was at work all day, but it seems this doesn't make any difference to his dumb, paranoid ass. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found my bike that was stolen a week ago in front of someone's house. Now this wouldn't have been a problem if my husband didn't steal it to go meet with his girlfriend. FML
Today, I walked out of my boyfriend's house to see my car window smashed in and my steering wheel cover stolen. I was only staying at his place because there had been a rash of vehicle break-ins in my neighborhood. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, I heard that my ex wrecked my car. He'd "borrowed it" and has had it for 2 months. He refused to return it. I went to the police and they went behind my back and "attempted" to retrieve it yesterday, without me. This just caused him to run away. FML
Today, my grown up, unemployed boyfriend stole 70 dollars from my wallet and tried to hide it in two different places in case he needed to ditch me and go out by himself. He got angry when I confronted him and stormed out. He feels perfectly entitled. I work, pay rent and buy food. FML
Today, my car was stolen. From my driveway. By the guy who sold it to me. FML
Today, my husband and I went out to dinner. I caught him writing down his number for the waitress. When I confronted him, his response was, "What? I'm not allowed to have friends?" and threw a fit over my "irrational paranoia." I had to walk home in the cold, because he kicked me out of the car mid-argument. FML
Today, after I found out my husband cheated on me and then yesterday had to stop him from trying to kill himself, he's now moved out and has decided that this is all my fault. FML
Today, after months of working on our relationship, my ex asked to borrow my car. After many hours and phone calls to see where he was, he still wasn't back. I decided to check my car's GPS and found him at my friend's house. He tried to deny that it was her house, when I've been there multiple times. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house so that he could break up with me. I went out to my car to leave only to discover that all of the wheels had been stolen. Even the spare. I had to spend the rest of the day with my ex-boyfriend finding a way to get my car home. FML
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Top comments
AmethystRain 20
You should counter-accuse him of doing it himself in an attempt to frame you, then settle it with a sword fight in the front yard.
tylersign 11
Ok, the deed is done. Where's my money?
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Comments (117)
Meme1988 18
Such a stupid head
HomeAl0ne 20
Whereas you just tampered with the brakes and put sugar in the fuel tank.
crackerjack13 0
Time for a new husband
vannessa_hearts 5
Why? What happened? "till death do us part". Marriage is taken so lightly nowadays…it is supposed to be an eternal bond between you and the love of your life. Not some "oh he looks cool!" date for six months and get married with a divorece on it's heels
thefaced 0
Dump that ass hole
vannessa_hearts 5
He is just really pissed at the moment…give him sometime to cool down & then talk to him about it. And I hate to be the person who says this but please, you shouldnt be cussing about him. He is your husband.
MarieBooLovesYou 4
LOOL. The ****.? He's a dumbass (x
OfficeNinja 5
Yea, because suspecting you did it for "revenge" makes sense! Now you get to buy a new car! Car shopping revenge is always a hoot! What a dumbass...
BrooklynBoy7 8
No, you should find his ccar, sell it, and then bring him to the place where you sold it, have him buy it back, and then you'll have money to divorce the bastard, wherea s he won't have any left to defend. :)
BoredomCentral 8
I hate to break this to you, but since they are married his money is hers and her money is his. Therefore, she wouldn't be GAINING anything, but losing.
Emilycatherine 0
Wow sped he really think you're that low??
Mourningstar 4
Sounds like you picked a real winner to spend the rest of your life with......good luck with that,lol!