Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband finally decided to help with the laundry. He washed a pen and it exploded in the dryer. FML
Today, I found out that someone left an open sharpie pen in the dryer. It left pen marks on everything inside of the dryer. Not just one or two pen marks, but nearly 1,000 on each article of clothing. FML
Today, my husband missed the toilet again. I would have been less disgusted if he'd peed this time. FML
Today, I returned a friend's jacket after borrowing it. I made sure to wash it and keep it clean. When he went to put it on, a pair of my granny panties fell out of the sleeve. FML
Today, someone left a lipstick in a public laundry machine of our student dormitory. Then, an hour ago, when I put my laundry in it (including my underwear), I didn't notice. FML
Today, I thought I was clever for doing my laundry while multitasking and making dinner. When I went to transfer my clothes from the washer to the dryer, I discovered that I'd accidentally washed a pack of gum that was in my pocket. The gum had melted into my favorite shirt, and I now have a sticky mess to deal with. FML
Today, my wife complained that the coffee grounds I swept into the sink grossed her out. Yesterday, I removed several panty-liners from her soiled underwear before doing the laundry. FML
Today, I had to do my laundry. Being too lazy to separate them into different colors, or even check the pockets of my jeans, I threw everything I own into one load. Turns out I had left a tin of lip balm in one of my pockets. My whole wardrobe is now covered in spots that won't come out. FML
Today, while doing my boyfriend's laundry, I noticed that every single pair of his boxers had a poop smear in them. He's almost 30. FML
Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML
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Top comments
NotGabe 28
Why carry just one strawberry in the pocket of your pants?
AviKerensky 17
Men's pockets are kinda like women's purses: Black holes. We often have no idea what the **** is in there.
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Comments (119)
NotGabe 28
Why carry just one strawberry in the pocket of your pants?
LindseyTheMoose 24
You don't?
jbones24 22
I always have at least 2, that way when I eat one, the other person wont just have to sit there being jealous. They can have one too!
lovelockdown23 23
who carries strawberries in their pocket period!
spatula232 25
I'm assuming the pocket period is when the strawberry gets crushed in your pocket?
NotGabe 28
I mean, you gotta have at least four strawberries. Two side pockets, two butt pockets. One berry just doesn't cut it.
lilchica22001 22
What if its Berry from Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2....and this guy was saving his life! Could be? ;)
jackthekeeper 24
"you gonna eat your tots?"
uhhhhbruce 13
I think the better question is who doesn't carry strawberries in their pockets
fluteguyfromny 6
why not
heyheyitshailey 17
"Ughhhhhh my freaking tots!!!"
Cads1 24
At least he is attempting to help around the house.
iwadasn 33
Doing one task so badly that it does more harm than good is not praiseworthy unless you have very low standards.
Jashie 18
Yes, but as he said, he was ATTEMPTING to. He might have done it horribly, but he still tried
TypicalSenpai 14
Come on, cut him some slack! Men's jeans pockets are infinitely roomy. ;o
Liyuesigs 8
He has lost the privilege of wearing pants!
pos20 26
I'm sure his wife would be excited about that
lovelockdown23 23
a strawberry? lol who puts a strawberry in their pocket?
chris1045S 14
I get the pen, but a strawberry? Why?
AviKerensky 17
Men's pockets are kinda like women's purses: Black holes. We often have no idea what the **** is in there.
SubparAtBest 23
I once forgot a small kitten in my pocket. I was just walking around when I hear a purring sound; It was the weirdest thing.
vikky538 29
True that
Isa_fml 20
Based on the shit that comes out of my husband's pockets, I'm thinking this is a true statement.
Kramer1998 20
I've had times when i have giant bulges on my thighs, and have no idea what all is in those bulges!
91hayek 31
wtf is your husband an MMORPG character? Don't judge that man, he needs all those side quests.
SubparAtBest 23
Nah man he's from Witcher 3. Gotta get every single resource.
PePziNL 20
And then dismantle the strawberry so you get a regular berry and a bunch of straw. *logic*
queenbiotch424 6
why the **** did he have a strawberry in his pocket?
cjohns6954 6
Why do you look like you do heroin?
knights13z 21
He's probably doing this on purpose so you will take over doing the laundry.
leogachi 15
That's what I was thinking, too.
twistedtwincity 17
Don't give away our secrets
TheGolfGTI 24
I'm sure your husband is berry sorry about it.