Today, I have the flu, so I called my boss to let him know I couldn't come in today. He told me to think my "lies" through better, and claimed that you can only get the flu during winter. So I guess I'm faking my pale skin, short breath, runny nose, and constant sneezing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML
Today, I dragged myself to work, suffering from a bad cold. My boss quietly told me to go home and rest, to avoid spreading it around the office. I thought it odd since he dislikes me so much, but I did as he said. He called later in the day to suspend me for leaving work early. FML
Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML
Today, I woke up with a sore throat and a stuffy nose. As my boss is an asshat who hates allowing sick leave, I thought I could power through it, but halfway through my workday I sneezed so hard that I threw my back out. I had to go home early and now I can't move without pain. FML
Today, my boss forced me to come into work despite having a bad cold. While waiting a table, I violently sneezed and sprayed a child's face with snot. His dad got so pissed that my boss had to pretend to fire me just to calm him down. FML
Today, I had to call out of work because I was ill, but they didn't believe me because today was the day I was supposed to come back from vacation. Now I'm stuck at work, constantly running to the bathroom, and they still won't let me go home. FML
Today, I was joking around with my manager about faking an injury to collect Worker's Compensation. Then I actually slipped and sprained my foot, and now my manager thinks I'm lying. FML
Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML
Today, I discovered that a high enough stress level can cause the same symptoms as the flu. So whenever things are quite awful at work, I get the added bonus of feeling like I’m coming down with something really nasty. FML
Today, my boss called and yelled at me because he said I was "spotted" out after I called off sick. I was out getting the medicine the doctor had just prescribed me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
lovelockdown23 23
although you can get the flu, yours just sounds like a cold.
BadDay98 18
Come into work and give him the flu, that'll show him
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (77)
360noscope 10
That is BS. I got the flu as well and people don't believe me since its summer.
psychopolarbear 28
Ironically enough, a quarter of my swim team and I are off with the flu right now -.-
stingray112 24
Yeah op if those are your only symptoms I don't think that's the flu but I could be wrong
BadDay98 18
Come into work and give him the flu, that'll show him
mduerden 18
Yup, make everybody else sick too then say "told us so..."
TypicalSenpai 14
Come to work anyway so you can sneeze on his bitch face. Let him have it. :^)
Cads1 24
Flu in the summer, sounds a little far fetched.
ptsdsucks 18
Sounds like a bad cold
JBrownie123 24
Definitely. I remember throwing up and aching everywhere when I had the flu. I don't think I sneezed once...
usheryes 9
Typically the flu is an upper respiratory infection. This can cause vomiting, but typically causes sneezing, coughing, skin sensitivity, and aches.
lovelockdown23 23
although you can get the flu, yours just sounds like a cold.
booze_n_bitches 37
Agreed. If it was flu, you wouldn't get out of bed for £1000; if you we're able to go into work it's definitely a cold. Have paracetamol for your fever and ride it out, OP. Good luck with your boss.
genYnot 19
Flu comes in different levels too. I've worked for days with something that turned out to be a flu. I then worked through the subsequent chest infection too.
nix1993 41
Shortness of breath is usually in indicator of something more serious than a cold. Though it might still not be flu, it's probably at least a respiratory infection. Still not something you want to be working with.
Musicforlife29 12
Some flu strains have symptoms of a cold, just more severe
Brandi_Faith 34
I was thinking this too. A flu is usually accompanied by a fever and body aches. I'm not saying op shouldn't stay home because of his really bad cold. I'm just saying it doesn't sound like the flu...yet. Colds can easily change to flu's and chest/sinus infections and other nasty stuff pretty quickly, and the fact that op is having shortness of breath doesn't sound good. Go to your doc op, you may be getting a chest infection or pneumonia or something if you're having trouble breathing.
logicnazi 18
#25 is referring to Tylenol for the rest of us Yankees
nattlecakes 19
So I guess all that time I spent on the toilet a few weeks ago accompanied by body aches and runny nose was just a completely fluke thing. Couldn't have been the flu!
91hayek 31
Do you have Dwight Schrute for a boss? Give HIM the flu. Then because it's obviously not winter say that it is a zombie strain of ebola. That dumbass would believe it. Troll him into begging you to kill him.
blahblah005 16
your boss is an idiot i feel for you OP
RabbitOfAurora 28
Time to go get a medical certificate I think.