Today, we went to an amusement park, or tried to. My idiot husband stuck his hand under his shirt like a gun and demanded free passes and "all the cash" as a joke. He's banned for life, they escorted us off the premises, and my children are inconsolable. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a guest came to the front desk and pretended to have a gun under his shirt while demanding passes to the water park. He was shocked when I had security remove him - he thought it was a funny joke. FML
Today, I tried being the 'cool parent' by taking my kids to a fancy, expensive amusement park, but ended up getting stuck on every ride and getting motion sickness. FML
Today, I took my kid to Busch Gardens. All he said was, "Can we use the claw machines?" He wouldn't ride rides, watch shows, eat, or participate in anything besides begging to play the damn claw machines. I paid for the full day and dragged him out screaming after three hours. FML
Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML
Today, our family went to a water park. The park's mascot came up to greet us, and my daughter got scared. She then refused to go inside, so we had no choice but to leave. FML
Today, I was grabbed and romantically kissed at the crowded carnival. Unfortunately, it was not by my husband but instead it was a complete stranger, in front of my husband and children. Now, my husband will not talk or believe that I didn't know the man, and my children think I'm a cheater. FML
Today, I went to the waterpark and my kids were fighting so I grounded them both. We concluded the day by boogey boarding on a mechanical wave. There was so much water I didn't realize my boobs had completely fallen out of my bikini. As revenge, my kids didn't tell me. FML
Today, my husband and I went to the state fair. The entire time, he complained about all the money we were losing because of the high prices of both rides and food. Towards the end of the night, we counted the cash we had left and found we were $50 short. Apparently, it fell out of his pocket. FML
Today, we drove for four days across states. My dad refused to let us go into the amusement park or check into the hotel we'd traveled for. The park is now cashless and he swears that it’s a government conspiracy to monitor and control us. He made us sleep in the car before going home. FML
Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML
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Top comments
DLBL 23
HE is banned. Did they kick out you and the kids, too?
tiptoppc 21
My brother had a friend who’s dad was a doctor and pulled a “i hope the tsa doesn’t find the bomb” joke right after 911 (2001). Some people are born idiots and no matter how smart they seem, do stupid shit. This woman’s husband apparently falls into this camp. **** this woman’s and her kids life. This dude has a bad case of stupidity, and I’m afraid it’s terminal. He should be put down (divorce) for minimal suffering for all.
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Comments (3)
tiptoppc 21
My brother had a friend who’s dad was a doctor and pulled a “i hope the tsa doesn’t find the bomb” joke right after 911 (2001). Some people are born idiots and no matter how smart they seem, do stupid shit. This woman’s husband apparently falls into this camp. **** this woman’s and her kids life. This dude has a bad case of stupidity, and I’m afraid it’s terminal. He should be put down (divorce) for minimal suffering for all.
DLBL 23
HE is banned. Did they kick out you and the kids, too?
JasonThorn 23
My guess is that they don't know if any of the family was involved, and it's probably a liability issue to let ANY of them in. Did he show any signs of mental defect before marriage? Because YDI if so. If not, FYL.
Hangryko 32
Make a plan to divorce him and get full custody of the children with child support. There's no hope with that level of stupidity.