Today, my husband left his phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being very curious, I called "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to go through my husband's phone to make sure I invited everyone to the surprise party I was planning for him. There were a few I had missed so I called to let them know about it. The last number I called was his girlfriend. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I was rushing to leave work and get home because I really had to use the bathroom. My phone rang and I thought it was my husband, so I answered by saying, "I really have to poop." Yep, not my husband. It was one of my employees, who has the same name. FML
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
Today, at work, my phone rang. My intern answered it and told me it was a coworker who'd just left. I picked up and said "What's up bitch? What are you going to complain about now?!" It was actually my boss. FML
Today, my husband gave my cellphone number to his most obnoxious, creepiest friend. I've been drunken-dialed five times already. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML
Today, I had misplaced my cell phone. I decided the best course of action would be to dial the number from my house phone and wait for it to ring to locate it. Somebody answered when I called. It wasn't the wrong number and I had a brief conversation with the man that stole my phone. FML
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Top comments
pinktiger 0
thats what you get for being nosy
buttseckz 0
Curiosity killed the cat.
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Comments (155)
ozymandias_fml 0
Sounds like he has you pegged, you snoopy bitch.
Special_K 0
he's just being a good husband.
jen_jen 0
I have a colleague who has a dog's bark as a ringtone for his wife's calls. Seems very proud of his joke. I doubt OP's husband did this hoping she would snoop around his phone..
muspell 1
you go snooping through his phone and actually CALL SOMEONE? do you really have any questions as to why you're labeled as such? i know words can hurt, but if the phone contact label fits......
idiotkid 0
I don't necessarily believe this. At the very least, the story is beefed up. Don't you know your own phone number? Last time I checked, most phones don't ONLY show the contact's name, but also their number. You would've seen your own phone number before having to call it.
HeyThereGorgeous 0
your all telling her she is one because she went snooping, but how many can honestly sit there an say you've never been snooping EVER. reality check. @OP - rename yourself as the ex and call him when he's got his phone!
Hurt16 0
not all ppl remeber their phone numbers my mother had her phone for 3years n now learned a part of her phone number.. when u rely on technology so much u really don't care to remember.. I give props to your husband I'm bout to make one up for my boy friend lol.... I can c it now "gun who never shoots" lol get my joke (for the slow ones think sex wise) ^_^
Cookiemjnw 0
lol my dad would do that though he would not mean it
DADDYO81 0
that was funny!!!
xbbyitachilover 0
omg. that is so mean! u should bitch slap him!