Today, my husband left his phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being very curious, I called "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to go through my husband's phone to make sure I invited everyone to the surprise party I was planning for him. There were a few I had missed so I called to let them know about it. The last number I called was his girlfriend. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I was rushing to leave work and get home because I really had to use the bathroom. My phone rang and I thought it was my husband, so I answered by saying, "I really have to poop." Yep, not my husband. It was one of my employees, who has the same name. FML
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
Today, at work, my phone rang. My intern answered it and told me it was a coworker who'd just left. I picked up and said "What's up bitch? What are you going to complain about now?!" It was actually my boss. FML
Today, my husband gave my cellphone number to his most obnoxious, creepiest friend. I've been drunken-dialed five times already. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML
Today, I had misplaced my cell phone. I decided the best course of action would be to dial the number from my house phone and wait for it to ring to locate it. Somebody answered when I called. It wasn't the wrong number and I had a brief conversation with the man that stole my phone. FML
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Top comments
pinktiger 0
thats what you get for being nosy
buttseckz 0
Curiosity killed the cat.
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Comments (155)
MeganTBone 0
My name in my husband's phone is 'Wifail', as in fail wife. Maybe it's just a 'cute' little nick name. Does he tease you alot?
MeganTBone 0
My name in my husband's phone is 'Wifail', as in fail wife. Maybe it's just a 'cute' little nick name. Does he tease you alot?
marshmallowmouse 0
YDI for looking through his contacts! Snoopy! Give the guy a little space, jeez
blastvortex 4
So he's a dumbass. You're a snoop. You sound like a smashing couple.
RPGod 0
When he gets home, nag him about it! That'll make him change it... oh wait...
Loveya448 0
Don't look through his things next time.
onehotdemon 0
Well if you always do shit like looking through someone else's phone, I say the title is pretty accurate. Karma's a bitch... just like you, apparently.
CaleighChi 0
I love how everyone uses this website just to yell at people. Every post i click on, I see people getting angry at the OP and trying to make them feel worthless, Just because it makes them feel better. This is supposed to be a comic wesite, not one where people try to belittle other people. The OP rarely ever actually reads the comments, and if they do, I doubt they care...so why are you guys trying to be mean??? why are you trying to make the OP feel worthless and stupid?? I just don't get it. Like i'm fifteen, and I get it. If you don't have something nice to say... Just don't say it...It's not rocket science. Alot of the comments are fine, and funny, But some of them are just hurtful. So???? i say just stop making this website a place for you to belittle other people, becuase it makes you feel like you're worth something. We are all equals..No one is better than anyone else... And I hate it when people think that god has somehow made them better than the average person. It just makes me mad, That even though alot of you are adults, you are still acting like children and tearing eachother apart. I like this website for something to laugh about, But as soon as you click on the comments, its hundreds of messages of people telling the OP they are "retarded", or worthless. I'm sick of it. Please stop acting like children and have the decency , even though this is the internet, to treat other people as you're equals. And i'd like to say the thing you guys have probably heard since you were children, but seem to think that you're too good to obey it. "treat others the way you want to be treated" Simple, I don't think it could be any clearer. Now I fully expect some retaliation commet, tearing me apart and trying to make what i said sound stupid. But That stuff dosent affect me. Just give people some basic respect, and you'll see that people will start respecting you. So please, just hear out what i said. And actually take the time to understand it.
marshmallowmouse 0
You wanted a reply, here goes, kiddo. This is the wrong place to look for respect - for both OPs and commenters like yourself. It's called FML. If you want a smiley, encouraging, supportive audience, you probably shouldn't search for it here. If you're too good for fml, above other people's low brow hollering and antics, why don't you comment some place else, somewhere that doesn't offend you?
alexandraa_fml 0
Whats the point of even commenting if im going to have to edit to fit your standards, and plus like you said, more than likely they arnt lurking reading all the comments so who really cares? & if theyre boohooing over what a complete stranger said via the internet then thats totally ridiculous.Although most people on here do make assumptions, who cares? What more Can we do? How boring would the comment section freaking be if they didnt? Theyre just doing it to start an argument or state their point of view on the matter, its not like its factual information or anyone believes it to be. Someone just takes things too seriously.. ahem.. People that submit here have more than likely seen some of the responses and should be ready for a little retaliation and common trolling. I dont see the big deal.
scarlett361 0
okay, didn't you post this exact same comment on another FML? why? this isn't someplace for you to come and preach.. relax and chill out
omghehehe 0
Omg, i almost choked on my water! :D Nani?!!!! Nani o shiru deshoo ka??? Sheesh, i wish i knew swear words in Japanese too!! I guess "The Bitch" could be funny? However, its funnier to see a girl refer to her man as her bitch ;)
GeneralBE 0
stop being a bitch then