Jenn P
Wichita Falls, United States
Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
LizzyJones
Derby, United Kingdom
Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML
sadwife
United States
It's the thought that counts
Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our one year anniversary and that it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two packs of cigarettes. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML
Pimp Daddy
Today, my husband put "sexual favors" on the memo line for my contractor's check. His wife saw it and he had to quit mid-job. I'm stuck with a half-finished house and my husband thinks it's funny. FML
tanksfan
This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff
India
Caught in 4K
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
fucker43
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Atlanta, United States
Pranked
Today, my friend made the effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML
Anonymous
Barrie, Canada
Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML
fububc
France
Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML
stopinthenameoflove
Dublin, Ireland
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML
blushingbride
Alpharetta, United States
Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML
Top comments
furfantasies 0
Smoking is bad anyways
Chris122990 4
I think he's subtly asking for a *******.
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Comments (307)
ILoveDaWorld 5
then u wont want to smoke around kids. so thats a plus
elerbears 9
i think he is trying to help you stop smoking. in a strange way.
SortOfSexy 4
Stop smoking, then he possibly might stop drawing dicks on your packs.
SkoomaKi 28
71 - Do you have a functioning brain? Or are you just stupid?
supercat23 10
D: Re-read the post, 132, they're saying that there is no "probably" about it, because if the OP quits smoking then there DEFINITELY won't be any packs for him to draw dicks on. Check yourself before you bitch someone out.
igive 29
smoking is bad, m'kay
tara805 0
Artsy.
russianraccoon 0
Take the hint. ..well hint(s)
HSOMGF 5
Wow, somebody needs a new husband. You know, one that's actually a grown man.
Epsilonyx 15
What a depressing marriage yours will be.
white16sox 19
Divorce him because he is caring for the OP? I truly wish anyone you marry the best of luck.
Mons_fml 27
Wow, it's childish? Look people severe lack of humor is a real problem that needs to be stopped! Spread awareness #STUPID PEOPLE 2012!!!
SkoomaKi 28
24 - It's people like you that causes higher divorce rates. I hope a man isn't unlucky enough to have you as a wife.
lex1459 38
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI for smoking
Ruffclue 9
Draw a cigarette on his penis and set it on fire.
Ruffclue 9
If he wanted her to stop smoking he should talk to her rather than drawing stuff. Everyone knows smoking is bad but still people do it. This isnt a proper way to tell someone to stop smoking according to me.
PrincessPesa 20
Passive aggression may not always be proper, but it sure can be entertaining!
fadingfaith 4
What I don't get is why smoking tabacco is legal, but smoking marijuana is illegal. They even use medical marijuana, which means that it is obviously not harmful to a person, but smoking cigarettes can cause lung cancer.
PaperCandles 0
Either way, marijuana makes your brain cells shrivel
MissHayleyJames 7
Because marijuana doesn't affect your brain at all *sarcasm*. Moron.
Almandine 7
Just because something is used in medicine doesn't make it harmless. Morphine is super addictive, some antibiotics can cause tendinitis, etc. I don't think marajuana is more harmful than cigarettes or alcohol, but it have negative effects.
betteryouthanmee 3
I agree with 33, marijuana does kill brain cells, but that's all. Alcohol can do worse, and cigarettes actually kill you. Maybe legalizing marijuana isn't the smart choice, but why are cigarettes okay? Besides, unlike cigarettes and alcohol, weed isn't addictive and it's no more life threatening than being drunk (which can be life threatening, but hey, drinking's legal). It's kind of messed up how we decide what is okay and what isn't.
PrincessPesa 20
Bottom line: they both have harmful effects on your lungs, regardless of their effects on your brain! Too bad drawing peens on weed buds isn't as simple as on cigs.
KeyboardWarrior 10
Because tobacco company's fight long and hard to keep it legal. There are no marijuana companies to fight for it, so it is still illegal. And prohibition was a huge fail. It caused crime rates to soar, and nobody wants that. So just because cigs and alcohol are legal, doesn't mean other drugs should be made legal.
laden_swallow09 35
Why the HELL did the Mary Jane debate come into play??
death_prevails 6
Actually it's because, before the prohibition of marijuana, people had found a much cheaper and efficient way to make paper out of hemp. Now back then, the timber industry was prospering; but had they kept hemp legal one of the largest and most profitable industries in the world would have suffered significant losses, eventually collapsing completely. On another note, alcohol can and does kill. And much worse than cigarettes do imo. I'm a smoker and aware of the health risks, but wouldn't touch a drop of alcohol. It is my choice, before you start talking about passive smoking I move away from non smokers and definitely children before I light up, and I really disapprove of people who don't.
ssnowywinter 0
Why the hell does it matter if one things legal and the other isn't? Both are bad for you, and just because the government says its legal doesn't make it any better. Making pot illegal clearly hasn't prevented people from smoking it.
ulis_fml 6
Quick fact for the people who smoke weed with this argument. Research has shown that weed is 600 times more likely than regular cigarrettes to cause lung cancer. Research before you argue.
downtime 13
196, Research has shown a lot of things. I don't think taking statistical advice from strangers is really the best thing to do when not backed up with evidence. By the way, 200% of marijuana smokers add 3 inches to their penis size. Hey, don't argue, its science.