Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that my husband has a video games addiction. I am currently pregnant; he brought us to the same country he's in so we can finally live together, only for me to witness him being glued to his laptop all day and all night playing WoW. He's forgotten I even existed. FML
Today, my husband got angry and stormed out of the house because he claims I wasn't pressing the buttons he told me to while playing Pokemon. FML
Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML
Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML
Today, I was using my iPad for a presentation. I locked it and left it connected to the projector while I prepared to present. When I turned around to begin, I realized there had been a push notification from Groupon asking if I was still interested in a dildo. FML
Today, I went into labor and got my husband drive me to the hospital. Instead of staying by my side, he rushed back home for a World of Warcraft raid. His excuse? His friends were counting on him and they'd be pissed if he let them down. FML
Today, my husband returned from being away for two weeks. I eagerly got myself ready and sent him a risqué picture so he would come to bed. An hour later, he's on the couch playing Xbox with the message already seen. FML
Today, when my boyfriend said it was time to play with his baby, I figured he was talking about me. He meant his Xbox. FML
Today, I called my fiancé just to tell him how much I love him, as a sweet gesture. He yelled at me for interrupting his video game and blamed my "neediness" on the fact that I'm menstruating. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
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Top comments
chickenwalrus 14
Baby dragon > sex?
stfu_bam 5
Uh hello! We gotta take care of our dragons! Psh people these days just don't understand. Side note - What level is he on?
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Comments (248)
firewood8 0
Woah what game is that!? Sounds cool! :)
jefffluffingham 5
so, your husband would put the life of a child before sex? when you have children, he'll be a ******* beast of a father.
firemedic919 0
to number 100. yes they are married. happy you learned to count and can read. more than most on here. im pretty sure they invented this little thing called divorce. it works if he is that useless to play a game and not **** his wife im pretty sure there are more issues than that going on. and as for masturbation well if you can hit the real why bother. sounds like you need a dose of reality
THE_A_TEEN 28
First, Learn to use the reply button stupid, it's right ******* there. Second, Divorce? Divorce is expensive, time consuming, and for a reason like this, it's really stupid. I mean, why would you want to divorce someone just because they ignored sex with your spouse over a god damn game. Besides, with masturbating, you know where is it more pleasurable. One last thing, I may be a teen, but I am living in reality instead of doing stupid shit like most of Gen. Y...
GrimyEmu 3
it was probably dragonvale. That game IS better than sex.
rcloca 10
And it's free! :p
BighornB 0
Obviously your doing it wrong if you think a game is more fun then getting your wick wet
leadman1989 16
Well if you stop making that dying giraffe sound thinking it's sexy then he wouldn't check on his game when he's about to have sex. Just a thought.
historyfrk 11
Time for the iPad to go bye bye
Skipper1439 1
with that enthusiasm he will be a great father
quagmire06 0
**** a dragon nothing will prevent me from having some sexy time giggdy
icanhazblivions 1
OHMYGOD is it dragonvale?
CJBaseball6 0
Dragonvale is great
neonberries 15
At least he is attentive to his young! You know he'll make a good dad if you ever get round to conceiving one.