Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that my husband has a video games addiction. I am currently pregnant; he brought us to the same country he's in so we can finally live together, only for me to witness him being glued to his laptop all day and all night playing WoW. He's forgotten I even existed. FML
Today, my husband got angry and stormed out of the house because he claims I wasn't pressing the buttons he told me to while playing Pokemon. FML
Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML
Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML
Today, I was using my iPad for a presentation. I locked it and left it connected to the projector while I prepared to present. When I turned around to begin, I realized there had been a push notification from Groupon asking if I was still interested in a dildo. FML
Today, I went into labor and got my husband drive me to the hospital. Instead of staying by my side, he rushed back home for a World of Warcraft raid. His excuse? His friends were counting on him and they'd be pissed if he let them down. FML
Today, my husband returned from being away for two weeks. I eagerly got myself ready and sent him a risqué picture so he would come to bed. An hour later, he's on the couch playing Xbox with the message already seen. FML
Today, when my boyfriend said it was time to play with his baby, I figured he was talking about me. He meant his Xbox. FML
Today, I called my fiancé just to tell him how much I love him, as a sweet gesture. He yelled at me for interrupting his video game and blamed my "neediness" on the fact that I'm menstruating. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
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Top comments
chickenwalrus 14
Baby dragon > sex?
stfu_bam 5
Uh hello! We gotta take care of our dragons! Psh people these days just don't understand. Side note - What level is he on?
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Comments (248)
perdix 31
It's a euphemism for masturbating. Good thing he doesn't have a full-grown dragon, you might dislocate your jaw!
ice_rose88 0
This made me lol. And I am OP.
almedalove 0
OMG my brother-in-law made that game I am so sending him a link to this post
ice_rose88 0
Tell him that thanks to him now my husband is way more concerned with keeping his poor helpless baby dragons alive than getting any.
TJD28 3
baby dragon > wife
P374RD3D 9
Baby dragons require more care than adult humans
Calyx_fml 22
Blow him while he games.
afulks78 11
Atleast you know he will be a good father :)
ryankon518 3
He's showing you how well he can take care of a human baby, by taking care of a dragon.
minodino 8
Last time I read this post it actually gave the name of the game, "dragonvale". In the past, I've noticed some other posts have been edited as well. What gives?
msphatb00ty 0
Maybe a "copyright" bs thing but thanks I thought I was tripping
liamcumby 4
Dragon vale!!!
old09 11
That's why iPads are not water proof Catch my drift?