Today, my husband and I decided to take a romantic trip to the beach. We got pulled over, and shortly thereafter he was arrested. Just so happens you can't miss child support payments for your twelve year old daughter without getting a warrant. He has a daughter? We've been married for 14 years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I picked up my 17 year-old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said, "So, you're the daddy?" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a hoe and me a perv. FML
Today, my husband was arrested on 2 felony charges in a sting. We've been married 5.5 years, had almost enough money for a down payment on a house, were trying to get pregnant, and had a non-refundable trip to London planned. We are now broke and on the verge of divorce. FML
Today, I got a phone call from my husband in jail. He was detained for statutory rape. The girl was his 15 year-old coworker at McDonald’s. He’s 42. I can’t tell which is worse, the fact that we have a daughter the same age, or that he actually wanted me to bail him out. FML
Today, I got pulled over for having an expired registration. I also found out my husband hasn't been paying for my car insurance. Luckily, I didn't get arrested because I had my baby with me. They towed my car and gave me 2 tickets and a court date. Oh, and the cop sent me a friend request. FML
Today, we missed our flights to our dream honeymoon destination, which we were lucky to get with so many flight cancellations, because my selfish stepdaughter anonymously called the airline to report us for drug smuggling, all because I married her dad this afternoon. FML
Today, as revenge for not buying her a new iPhone, my twelve-year-old daughter told her father that my boyfriend, who just moved in with us, is on the sex offender list. My ex turned my boyfriend into the cops and his parole could be revoked. FML
Today, I found out my husband got my 22 year-old daughter pregnant. Not only that, he’s drained our savings on her including a new iPhone and Macbook, designer clothes and handbags, etc. His defense, in all seriousness, was, "She’s not even my biological daughter, chill out." FML
Today, my longtime partner had a mental breakdown and broke into my home. After forcefully having to get him out of my house and dealing with Police all morning, my 16-year-old daughter decided to tell me that she's pregnant. She thought one hour after a break in was the right time to tell me. FML
Today, I found some charges on my credit card for two round trip tickets to Las Vegas. Turns out my daughter and her unemployed stoner boyfriend stole my credit card and flew to Vegas over the weekend to get married. I paid for my daughter's elopement. FML
Today, the cops showed up to my house and served me a child support order from the girl I had a one-night stand with, and who'd promised me she would abort the baby. All this was two years ago. My wife of three years was in the house and heard everything. She packed up her things and told me she’ll be calling her attorney. FML
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Top comments
Muffinish 0
Ouch. **** your life, also **** the 12 year-old daughter's life for having a deadbeat dad.
allmidnighteyes 11
On the next episode of Divorce Court....
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Comments (155)
spyderman2190 0
Way to know your husband, that sux tho
lyndis_fml 0
Obviously he cheated on her and kept it a secret. not her fault.
kewlcat 0
i feel bad for the kid... imagine your step mom not knowing you exist
allmidnighteyes 11
It's only bad for the kid if the mom herself isn't aware of the kid's existence....
justme001 0
Gee, you're right. That's nuts. I mean there are absolutely no reasons why she wouldn't take note of such things. Such as 1. Trusting her husband. 2. Not inspecting the paystub every week and comparing against the bank deposits. 3. That possibly, he had a boss that DIDN'T call her and update her on all raises and weekly salary amounts. 4. That he lied about how much he made. 5. That no, he actually didn't pay child support. 6. That the child support was a recent ruling for whatever reasons. 7. That he just wasn't honest about how much he made. You're right. Absolutely no alternatives in such a situation. It's all her fault, not the fault of a man with a giant secret to hide and a life to lose if his secret was found out. Excellent deduction, Watson.
lightningthunder 0
Haha, win justme101
Aeval_Fae 0
HAHA perfect reply. I definitely agree... now THIS is a FML situation. I don't know what i would do in that situation.... actually i do. I would get every last penny out of his lying, cheating ass. I would take the romantic trip ALONE and enjoy every second of it knowing full well i'll be taking many many more luxurious trips in the future all on my exes dime. Bleed him dry and enjoy the rest of your life with someone more honest! ♥♥♥ Fae
LadyLynne 0
You're assuming she gets to see his check. If he has direct deposit, then only the stubs are available and she may not have access to them. It's technically up to him whether he shows her his pay stubs
Puolukka 4
Exactly...they may also have separate bank accounts...or one joint account and then each of them still has one of their own.
ariean 0
..that doesnt make sense. The kid has her own mother. She should feel bad though that her father is a married man who cheated on his wife with her mother and the result was her. It really sucks for you OP because this is your husband of 14 yrs and all that time he kept this hidden from you! my only guess was in his defense he didnt tell you because he didnt want to admit he cheated and you leave him. still what an ass twice over, for cheating and for not telling. the kid is almost as old as your marriage! Also, how can you not know in 12yrs that he pays child support?
AtoZnumbersand_ 1
Why? Step mums aren't that big of a deal.. If you weren't in contact with your father you step mum wouldn't matter at all.. She's as good as a stranger.
iwadasn 33
She shouldn't feel bad that she's the result of a man cheating on his wife. The father should, and the mom should, if she knew that he was married, but the daughter had no control over the circumstances of her conception and has nothing to feel guilty about.
OperationNicole_fml 0
No, it is bad for the kid. Not so much the stepmom not knowing you exist part, but the fact that your father never intended on taking care of you, never helped pay for you to survive, and probably never bothered visiting you. In her mind, she must often feel that she isn't worth much.
kukopia 0
Thank-you #2, Officer obvious.
bi_chick 0
thats why he got arrested idiot............he hasn't been paying it at all
lisafannypack 0
i think that #50 was a response to #23, so what i think he is try to say that the kid might end up feeling that way, which sucks for the kid, not that the kid SHOULD feel that way.
yellowIA 0
I agree with most of what you said but the point is, he DIDN'T pay the support payments. That's probably how she never found out. It may have just caught up with him. This super sucks though.
Musicismylife92 0
#88 Wow you take things way too serious. As if you know either one of the people involved in the situation. these are people's opinion so why are stop calling them names for something they feel. I mean really calm down. just breathe laceypatrickson.
were_giraffe 2
sucks that you gotta find out NOW that he cheated on you over 12 years ago
thesunshotme 0
It's not her fault her husband is a lying, cheating asshole. You'd be surprised at how deceptive people can be. Also, F the daughter's life for having that guy for a father.
SettoFail 9
he obviously wasn't paying it.
whiskerkitten 0
my stepdaughter is one. my husband and I have been married four years. how DARE you assume that she should share ANY responsibility for something she had absolutely no control over?
lauryn111502 5
He didn't pay child support for 12 years, that's the point of him being arrested
Intoxicunt 6
You must be dating my ex! **** your life.
justbea777 0
damn! FYL!
allmidnighteyes 11
On the next episode of Divorce Court....
DanizzleXFoSho 6
I totally loled
crazy_cat_lady24 0
Holy shit... well if they make a program about that I'm watching! Now this is a REAL fml!
Muffinish 0
Ouch. **** your life, also **** the 12 year-old daughter's life for having a deadbeat dad.
bi_chick 0
she wont be able to get anything because it will all go to child support!!!
Luckster 0
This is gonna be one hell of a divorce....and people can get warrants for missing Child Support payments? My crack-head mom didn't pay my Dad for 18 years! Must be an Oregon thing.
Darth_Taco 14
No, it's nation-wide. It's just not well known. As to the woman this happened to, you're probably not alone XP. I recommend you calm down, then make a decision from there. Personally, I would slash open his nut sack. Then again, I'm 19 and have a bad temper :P.
Nicoleismyname 0
Omg pleAse don't slash open his nut sack. I'm a girl and the thought of this made me cringe.
Luckster 0
WTF? I didn't write that....*goes to change password*
ariean 0
wrong fml...
Sexxi 0
Its a well known fact only men are responsible for child support payments. if women dump the kid off on the father they dont have to pay a dime
perfectwinds 0
Uhh... What?? Please tell me you're being sarcastic, Sexxi. PLEASE.
Vaetrus 0
I'm with #18. You need counselling #14. Sucks to be the wife, kid, and the kid's mom. Although at least she's about to get the money. I don't pity the guy, you reap what you sow. Especially kids.
yellowIA 0
hacked? lol
bask8ball 0
yeahhh my dad was arrested a couple days before my high school graduation. I was the only one out of 4 kids to graduate. my mom called it in.
rttr 18
What is wrong with you????
by4x4 4
if it's not in the divorce papers then he doesn't have to pay
mommy2cassidy 18
#99 if the childs mother knew he was married it's not a FHL. The child is not to blame and neither is the wife but it takes a really skanky woman (or man, I'm not sexist) to sleep with a married/in any form of relationship man (or woman, again not sexist) and the mother is just as much to blame for the cheating if she knew he was married.
hannah_elizabeth_fml 7
oh wow.... that really sucks
synix 0
Totally, entirely, completely must suck. FYL!
piles_of_fail 0
holy crap. FYL.
McLaughlane 0
DAMN, fyl. just...wow. :(