Today, my husband and I decided to take a romantic trip to the beach. We got pulled over, and shortly thereafter he was arrested. Just so happens you can't miss child support payments for your twelve year old daughter without getting a warrant. He has a daughter? We've been married for 14 years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Assumptions
Today, I picked up my 17 year-old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said, "So, you're the daddy?" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a hoe and me a perv. FML
Today, my husband was arrested on 2 felony charges in a sting. We've been married 5.5 years, had almost enough money for a down payment on a house, were trying to get pregnant, and had a non-refundable trip to London planned. We are now broke and on the verge of divorce. FML
Divorce impending
Today, I got a phone call from my husband in jail. He was detained for statutory rape. The girl was his 15 year-old coworker at McDonald’s. He’s 42. I can’t tell which is worse, the fact that we have a daughter the same age, or that he actually wanted me to bail him out. FML
Today, I got pulled over for having an expired registration. I also found out my husband hasn't been paying for my car insurance. Luckily, I didn't get arrested because I had my baby with me. They towed my car and gave me 2 tickets and a court date. Oh, and the cop sent me a friend request. FML
Teenage jealousy
Today, we missed our flights to our dream honeymoon destination, which we were lucky to get with so many flight cancellations, because my selfish stepdaughter anonymously called the airline to report us for drug smuggling, all because I married her dad this afternoon. FML
Snitch
Today, as revenge for not buying her a new iPhone, my twelve-year-old daughter told her father that my boyfriend, who just moved in with us, is on the sex offender list. My ex turned my boyfriend into the cops and his parole could be revoked. FML
Is this Woody Allen?
Today, I found out my husband got my 22 year-old daughter pregnant. Not only that, he’s drained our savings on her including a new iPhone and Macbook, designer clothes and handbags, etc. His defense, in all seriousness, was, "She’s not even my biological daughter, chill out." FML
While I'm here…
Today, my longtime partner had a mental breakdown and broke into my home. After forcefully having to get him out of my house and dealing with Police all morning, my 16-year-old daughter decided to tell me that she's pregnant. She thought one hour after a break in was the right time to tell me. FML
Thieves like us
Today, I found some charges on my credit card for two round trip tickets to Las Vegas. Turns out my daughter and her unemployed stoner boyfriend stole my credit card and flew to Vegas over the weekend to get married. I paid for my daughter's elopement. FML
Fumbled
Today, the cops showed up to my house and served me a child support order from the girl I had a one-night stand with, and who'd promised me she would abort the baby. All this was two years ago. My wife of three years was in the house and heard everything. She packed up her things and told me she’ll be calling her attorney. FML
Top comments
Muffinish 0
Ouch. **** your life, also **** the 12 year-old daughter's life for having a deadbeat dad.
allmidnighteyes 11
On the next episode of Divorce Court....
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Comments (155)
TheCoyote 0
Don't you people realize that this could be a case of mistaken identity. The police are really bad about mixing people up....especially when it has to do with child support. They see a name on a warrant and bam that name pops up, you have that name your going to jail....just put any name in facebook and see how many people have that name....could be bad for you.
Akinari 0
Not sure why anyone wants to blame anyone but the husband, given the facts here (How would she know the kid was twelve unless he 'fessed up and told her?), this is truly, madly, deeply, an FYL.
heatherewf 0
I really hope this is fake. Otherwise, it's the shittiest thing I've ever read. How sad for everyone involved. :(
hallietrue 0
I don't agree one bit with the most of you. I for one think this is BS. This is either made up or the OP is plain stupid. When you deal with child support you get letters and statements sent out regularly, at least once a month. Whether you pay or not. Their also would have been a court date to set up how the payments will work and how and when they will be made, and how much. Not to mention, if you fail to make payments on your own, after a fashion your wages from work would eventually be garnished (meaning they will take out a portion of your earnings and send it to child support without your consent.) Both my parents payed child support on me and my siblings, but we still got to see our parents regularly, they just didn't have custody because they felt they couldn't raise us properly, our grandparents raised us. The guardian of the child gets statements as well. They all constantly complained about the letters they got and how the DES was stupid..trust me, the OP would know if their husband had a child by another woman.
skullbuster 0
OP, darling, have someone grab the back of your neck to pull your head out of your ass. I mean, really, what is this - the 1950's. You mean to tell me that you never reviewed a bank statement, a paystub, anything to see that your beloved husband was sending out sums of money on a monthly basis to a payee unknown to you? I really hate these women who bury their heads in the sand, avoid any real responsibility in their lives by letting their husbands control everything, and then complain when reality is slapping them in the face. A single glance at the bank statements one month would have raised a question here (that is, a statement during a month where he actually paid his support). WAKE UP AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY!
kittenmeow 0
WHAT AN ASSS....
TheTruth1428 0
FYL, but YDI for not noticing that a certain amount of money went missing every month. Honestly, how could you not notice that once a month a decent amount of money was missing from your savings? It's not like it's easy to hide missing money if someone actually looks into it.
heatherewf 0
I really hope this is fake. Otherwise, it's the shittiest thing I've ever read. How sad for everyone involved. :(
Vaetrus 0
Are you not reading anyone's comment? Chances are he probably wasn't making any support payments. Ergo, HIS ARREST. If he was making payments there would not be a warrant out.
skullbuster 0
He obviously made some payments, they don't let you go for a decade on your support payments. And, frankly, it doesn't seem as if this character was in hiding if they picked him up on a traffic stop!
Ucla_cupcake 0
How do we even know if they did have savings or not?
Mearii 1
that sucks =(
kukopia 0
Ricky got some es'plainin to do!