Today, I picked up my 17 year-old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said, "So, you're the daddy?" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a hoe and me a perv. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 17-year-old daughter has been sending and receiving videos and pictures of a sexual nature. I just had to wade through a ton of middle-aged dick pics as evidence for the police. FML
Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML
Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML
Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML
Today, while in line for my prescription, my daughter was interrogating the man behind us. I'm a single mother. She asked the man, "Do you think my mom is pretty? Want to go on a date with her?" When he told her he was married, she replied, "So? You can get a divorce." FML
Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML
Today, while picking up my 14-year-old sister, a friend of hers asked if I was her mother. I'm only 17. FML
Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML
Today, my daughter gave me the “but daddy I love him” speech when she turned up to a family event with her boyfriend, who was at least 20 years older than her, was visibly intoxicated, stank of body odour and cigarettes, then tried to flirt with my wife. FML
Today, a police officer gave me a ticket for smoking. He told me that my parents would have to be contacted to come pick me up. My drunk dad came to the rescue, and almost hit the police car. Way to go dad. FML
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Top comments
randomdude1234 0
A lot of cops are idiots. Not saying that there aren't good ones but a lot of them are idiots.
Emma_91 0
WTF? Or maybe the cop just has a dirty mind XD
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Comments (175)
JStromberg 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
yeaje , first ? XD woo
MasterModeraor 0
at least he said you look young. you should take that as a complement
Crimso 0
#2 ask your mommy
Critter456 0
lol 156! that sux op, ur daughter probably doesn't wanna b cn w/ u any more, does she?
Jamialia 5
I've been accused of being my Dad's wife and my mother's Girlfriend. Get over it
at0micmin3r 23
#162 W-What language is this?
shankzilla 0
i dont get it
fuglyhos 0
#2 is prbbly ten years old
mr_sympathy 0
Pimps are usually referred to the hoes daddy have you ever heard anyone say something like sugar daddy
shankzilla 0
explain
2426835 0
as in wo's you daddy
Person_Man 0
rofl...
yayitsmeh 0
i agree
JoyFly 0
It's okay... neither do I
locagurl 0
he's saying that the cop thinks he's the pimp and his daughter a ***** lol
IaIaIaIa 0
O_O
Emma_91 0
WTF? Or maybe the cop just has a dirty mind XD
randomdude1234 0
A lot of cops are idiots. Not saying that there aren't good ones but a lot of them are idiots.
Hotmodelgrrl 0
#5 made my LMFAO. The Po are dumber than a box of rocks. LOL. "Have you ever seen a grown man naked honey?"
voveraite 7
Haha, so what language is this? Klingon in Cyrillic? :D Strange indexing here, I was replying to Blimy...
jem1991 0
ever heard of the term corruption?
bollywood_rocks 0
Nice little government 101 lesson there BUT DID IT OCCUR TO YOU THAT SOME BUSYBODY AT THE THEATER or wherever they were called the cops,gave them a description of the car and people which the cop used to pull them over? Since something similar happened to me( gas station said I didn't pay and the cops came to my house A DAY LATER) it is likely possible.
SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0
So he thought you were... her pimp or something? I also agree with #5/randomdude1234.
Affenhausen 0
he thought that the girl was a prostitute and the guy was buying her
Guairdean 0
File a complaint with internal affairs and demand a written apology. Whatever you do, don't call his supervisor. It'll be swept under the rug, you will be labeled as a pervert in the "official" paperwork, and you will the officer will hunt down reasons to ticket you.
jem1991 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you deserve it for letting her walk out of the house dressed like one...
astrotacohead 0
yep
jem1991 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you deserve it for letting her walk out of the house dressed like one...
littlebirdy_55 0
Aaaaahhhhh!!! Double post!!!!!!!
JoelsLastNight 18
How do you know what she was wearing could have just been normal clothes.
jpr11011 0
I feel so bad for you! How upsetting!