Today, my girlfriend invited me over because her husband was going to work. That bastard picked the PERFECT day to have the stomach flu and call out of work to come back home. I had to hide in the closet naked with blue balls for three hours until he fell asleep so I could sneak out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the hospital due to extreme sickness. My boyfriend saw this as an opportune time to take another girl out since I was "otherwise preoccupied." FML
Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML
Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuckbuddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML
Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML
Today, I've been horribly sick with a stomach virus. Six hours ago, I asked my husband to go to the store and get me a few things that would help ease my misery. He's still in bed and I'm cleaning the house in between bouts of vomiting. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were both at home, sick. We decided to make the best of it and spent the day in bed together. Things got a little steamy, and we started making out. As I started kissing her neck, I got nauseous. Before I could pull away, I threw up all over her. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s soon to be ex-wife was supposed to go on a trip with her sister, so I came over for the weekend while she was gone. She came home saying she’s not going anymore because her sister cancelled. I had to wait inside a hot closet for 4 hours hungry as fuck until I could escape when she was showering. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML
Today, my husband had a bad stomach bug and fever. While I was at work, he had diarrhoea but couldn't make it to the toilet so he went in the bin next to his desk, crawled back into bed, and passed out. It sat there in this heatwave for 5 hours. FML
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Top comments
mourka 5
Your a pretty cancerous individual, you know she is married but still decide to wreck someone's marriage. Hopefully karma hits you just as hard later in life.
idragosani 17
I hope you caught his bug
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Comments (6)
n3rdn3ss 8
SHAME!
mourka 5
Your a pretty cancerous individual, you know she is married but still decide to wreck someone's marriage. Hopefully karma hits you just as hard later in life.
idragosani 17
I hope you caught his bug
tiptoppc 21
I hope you meet the large end of a bat, you two-timing scum-shoveling, inbred screwing used up old dairy cow.
wrecklesswfire 3
you’re an idiot
LillyLogan 4
Do you honestly think you are the victim in this situation?