Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax, my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out while she was laying on me. Her little brother walked in, saw us and yelled, "Mom they're swallowing each other!" FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, my brother met my girlfriend for the first time. Instead of making a good first impression, the first thing he did was talk about how he just took a massive dump and didn't wipe very well, and that's why his hand smelled bad. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having it off in his den, I screamed at the height of my climax, and from the family room came the roaring laughter of my boyfriend's brothers. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, I had my first astounding orgasm, during which I simultaneously shat myself and vomited. I'm so thankful my new partner was present. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were both at home, sick. We decided to make the best of it and spent the day in bed together. Things got a little steamy, and we started making out. As I started kissing her neck, I got nauseous. Before I could pull away, I threw up all over her. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Doortje 30
How romantic. Your brother made sure that your first oral sex experience is one you'll never forget.
Quasar55_fml 18
I bet he's been refraining just for that one moment :D
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (60)
mrjude 3
For the first time? Did you just get together 10 minutes ago?
goldieglock 5
it's extremely loud not loudly. just saying
vegan_muffin 5
Is it "extremely loud"? One would think the adverb "loudly" would describe the verb "vomiting."
perdix 31
He was probably enjoying the hot girl-on-girl action but he couldn't handle seeing your girlfriend try to tongue-navigate that tangled mess of a hairy bush you've got. You ought to shave that shit so he'll enjoy watching it next time.
Hello_kitty_love_fml 0
Girl on girl?
truehitman2010 0
where's boners with a funny joke about this
ImaginaryFoe 1
FYL. It sucks to be ripped out of the mood. You can't get it back easily.
brooka101190 0
And that affected you how? Plug your ears and keep at it!
fthku 13
So you didn't ******. Big woop. FHL for being sick.
Stupidpeopleanno 5
#19, what are you implying?
Ummvsangels 0
Help is op a girl or a boy!?!?
sammyjo06 14
She's a girl; it says right in the post. Also, I think guys would've used a different expression instead of "reaching climax".