Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, I thought it would be hot to go down on my girlfriend while she was playing a video game on the PC. Unfortunately, someone killed her in game and she wheeled the chair forward in anger, right into my nuts. It took her a few seconds to notice, then she blamed me for getting her killed. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying, "Milk the penis… Miiiiilk the penis…" FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
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Top comments
carlycrf 8
did you swallow?
iHaveADream_ 0
hahaha . don't lie , you liked it (;
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Comments (258)
ryanc21 0
lmfao!!!!
terror_twins 0
Lmfao!
TheOtherNewest1 6
Bam! Said the leydeyyy. - Nathan Fillion.
MustangMan29 13
Wow big deal ! get over it at least u were getting a handjob. JACKASS !!!
xoxoMEGANxoxo 13
haha smart girl
cloudfallen 6
Owned by ur own ****
Luv4Amuc 0
lmao!!! thats a funny girl!!! wouldnt want that happening to me though
usmcsupporter 0
lol u shot yourself in the face....
Flutist 3
What makes you think WE females want it aimed at us? Now you know. We don't like the nasty ass baby-making stuff in our mouths, faces or hair. Use a sock next time.
lee6658 0
now that's something out of American Pie lol