Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, halfway through a blowjob, my girlfriend bit my penis because she suddenly decided that she was still annoyed at me for an argument we had last week. FML
Today, I found out how painful it is to static shock the tip of your dick. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a nasty fight. After a few hours, she wanted to give me a blowjob, so I thought we weren't mad at each other anymore. Turns out she was still mad because she bit my penis. FML
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
Today, after being apart for a few weeks, my girlfriend made love to me so hard I got bruises on my penis and it hurts to pee out of it. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
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Top comments
WhatThePhuc 0
how electrifying
Bluelake3 0
now THATS passionate.
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Comments (67)
WhatThePhuc 0
how electrifying
maverik5124 6
at least she laughed it off
NeatNit 33
at first I read ice as ice cream and I had NO IDEA what happened
lexiieeex3 32
That blows.
tin_cup 27
No, not really!
jackainscough 0
Comment 19. Golden And man that sucks
quiksta 0
i finally understand what this post means. the mix-n-match style grammar and tenses slowed my decryption. this post - it means you're a whiny little bitch. a static shock is the pain equivalent of scratching yourself with the hard side of velcro. in fact i can't believe isn't more painful (or at least "shocking") having ice on your ****. drama queen. i bet you don't even have a girlfriend. if you did' you'd have better things to do than make up tall tales. besides, this can't be true. nothing in the world should make a straight man say no to a *******. you pulled your wee wee up between your legs and squealed all the way home.
Morganic 0
Dude that sucks, that's a story.....
Bluelake3 0
now THATS passionate.
ChaosChild 0
Ouch XD Well when you're all healed up you'll have something the two of you can laugh about :)
I_Suck_At_Life 0
#19... *sigh* Thats pretty funny... That happened to my friend once. He said his gf laughed so hard.
LMent 0
Sounds like you have an electric sex organ
teentee401 37
They say that when you meet "the one" there will be sparks!
F_MeRunning 0
DUDE! you have an electric penis, you're a pornstar now! Raunchy robot sex 6: attack of the sexbot
HyperFlirt 0
lol. Oh no, you didn't get a *******. Get over it.