Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML
Today, I was on the bus, heading to work, when the girl beside me started yelling at me, claiming I was staring down her shirt. I did no such thing, but the driver nonetheless stopped the bus and made me get off, all under the withering glares of the other passengers. FML
Today, I started my new job at a small business. I was pretty excited to finally be working, until I found out the big boss is a creeper and sees no problem making comments such as "You're way more interesting than the rest of these slope-eyed fucks." FML
Today, I went to work early and saw my crush's car in the parking lot, so I parked next to her. After that, I looked over at her car to see her staring at me with a weird look and her saying, "Really?" Then she gestured around the lot; I looked around to find it completely empty. FML
Today, thinking that I was alone at work, I started rummaging through my nose, trying to find something interesting. It was only after about a minute that I noticed that my boss was looking straight at me. FML
Today, I saw a beautiful girl on the bus. Struck up a good conversation, walked with her all the way to my office. Forgot to ask her name and number. This is the second time I've done this. FML
Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
Today, I was creeping on a girl, looking at her tattoos and getting stimulated while she was sitting down in the carriage next to ours. From the looks of it, it looked like she was looking at her phone, but she was actually staring dead at me. FML
Today, sleeping in a little late, I was woken up by my phone. Still tired, I quickly checked the display to realize it was my girlfriend calling. I pick up the phone saying, "Hey baby girl!" She seemed pretty startled, so I double-checked and realized it was my new boss, who has the name as my girlfriend. FML
Today, a girl started talking to me at the bus stop. After it descended into an awkward silence, I jumped on my bus to avoid further conversation. She got on the same bus. And got off at the same stop. I swear the whole bus could feel the tension. FML
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Top comments
alexy0806 3
tell her it is because she looked beautiful.
mercuryburst 0
good impression
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Comments (93)
mercuryburst 0
good impression
herrobear 0
Should've winked at her.
brycereid 0
should've blown her a kiss
CryMoreFMLs 15
Should've flicked your toungue in and out of your mouth.
iheartbewbies 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
C-c-combo breaker
Strolling 0
C-c-combo revive. Should have had a V8.
sleepydeath 4
should of lifted up your shirt
urdirtyolduncle 15
Should've violently pick your nose and flick the booger at her.
FailBear920 19
should've pretended to suck a wang wang dingiling and mouthed "Does this satisfy you mother f$cker
aavatar10 0
Should have switched to Geico.
Skorne 5
Should've flailed your arms around like a maniac while screaming at the top of your lungs.
GuessWhatKids 13
Should've...**** this.
scrapmetal58 9
Should've started slowly licking the window.
EvilCupcake8361 9
shouldve gave her the stink eye while viciously flaring your nostrils
chtychtybngbng 11
Have you ever ridden on a bus? I don't know how the buses where you live are but where I live they are completely disgusting. You'd probably catch 10 different diseases if you decided to lick the window. @OP you definitely deserved it for acting like a weirdo. What adult plays the staring game? Thanks for a good laugh though.
alexy0806 3
tell her it is because she looked beautiful.
GreenMaze 0
Who won?
chocolatechocha 8
yeaaa that won't creep her out more or make her uncomfortable. the "stare" n the staring game isn't suppose to be one that's admiring..moreso..creepy
zniltiaC 19
Unless OP had a very creepy on.
MusicLover369 4
no no, tell her it's because she looked familiar. :)
octinate 17
why do people always do the creepiest things on the way to job interviews?!?!?
HeaRTs_Girl 0
At least you weren't playing "THE GAME". By the way, you just lost. :-P
kyanisaurus 0
hope you get to do the same tomorrow!
jamila123 5
I thought this was funny. Way to kill time OP.
stephyloo 0
loser
BangBangz 0
Says the loser with -7 thumbs down. /:
valalvax 13
the staring game? is that where you stare at the most attractive 's chest, crotch, or ass?
PSQ91 6
No that's called being a man.
sweetkitty26 0
it's even more funny and ironic cuz ur a guy! thanks for the laugh, that was super clever
prettyinpunk1025 14
pig
PSQ91 6
Prude.
steeledwolf 8
21 You are a decent man. And I fully mean that.
No_LoveMM 3
29 that is a dog in your picture...not a pig.
camoney 4
I guess you didn't remember what your boss looked like from the interview.
nadhirah 4
Maybe cause the boss wasn't the interviewer :)
mhorger 0
as a business owner, I'll let you know a little secret. most companies have a HR dept. or hiring manager... you usually don't meet your immediate supervisor until after you are hired.
Spaghetti7 5
BUT you still morally won the game, so ou should be happy.
GDIalex 11
And what's wrong with staring game? I mean, it really shows that person is somehow outstanding for you, so you just told her that she's attractive not knowing that she's your boss. I presume it's kind of a compliment