Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, for the third time this week, I came home to my wife asleep in bed, her pants down, and her vibrator in her hand. She keeps refusing sex because she "isn't in the mood" and insists there's nothing wrong. To rub salt in the wound, I bought her the vibrator as a gift, hoping to spice things up. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML
Today, my girlfriend teased me by asking if I wanted to fuck her best friend in the ass. Obviously it was a joke, but now I can't stop thinking about it and I know it will never happen. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML
Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
UH60 26
Are you by chance the same guy that 'accidentally' slipped into the wrong hole yesterday?
Steve95401 49
Make sure to sleep on your back or on your side facing her. Also, be careful about bending over in the shower to pick up your soap off the floor.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (234)
oldsaltydawg 12
i have a feeling she's looking for revenge?
dawn2ivory 0
Time to have a talk about boundaries
twice_shy2015 1
1. A girl with a ***** in the nightstand is suspect to you? 2. I'm sure you're just being paranoid 3. But if not, have a talk about boundaries. Some guys aren't into pegging, and she should respect that.
OpposingKilljoy 14
The pegging fetish Is strong in her you know what they say though, don't knock it till you try it! ;)
BloodyGlass 10
If you're kidding, this isn't funny. If you are serious, run, she clearly has no problems commiting rape.
magikman428 12
just let her it feels amazing
halfawannabe 14
This makes me very happy I can sleep on my back ramrod straight and not move all night, even if it's now how I prefer to sleep.
UberAwesone 30
run, run far
twarn15 6
ur gona be ( butt hurt )
Bt1234567890 10
Really dude u expect people to belive that! U know u r secretly wanting her to do it . Saying u don't think she is taking no for an answer! If u were in jail and some dude wanted to take your ass. And he wasn't taking no for an answer would u fight or roll over and just give it up?