Anonymous
Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML
Anonymous
Gamers rise up
Today, my girlfriend destroyed my Xbox, because somewhere in her psycho brain she actually thought it would get me to pay more attention to her, even though I only play 3 hours on a Sunday. Joke's on her, I bought a new one, she’s back on the streets, and I play it a whole lot more now. FML
NYCguy
United States
Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I've recently become serious about getting fit, and have lost nearly 84 pounds. Apparently, when I was fat, I made her look smaller in comparison. When I got slimmer, she insisted I either gain the weight back or she'd leave. So she did. FML
Whatthehell
Food for thought
Today, my girlfriend is mentally unhinged. She had a full on temper tantrum and ranted about healthy eating, and how she’s “fat” and needs to lose 30 pounds, all because I suggested Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner. She stormed out of the house. I later ran into her at a local pizza place, devouring a pizza. FML
ouch
United States
Today, my girlfriend was telling me how concerned she was about her weight. I told her not to worry, because it gives more cushion for the pushin' anyway. She picked up a lamp and threw it right at my dingleberries. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I entered my bedroom, ready to play some COD on my xbox 360. Instead, I find a note where my xbox used to be. It read "You think you can cheat on me and get away with it? Fuck you. I smashed the hell out of your stupid xbox." It was signed by my girlfriend. I never cheated on her. FML
Anonymous
Skinny Love
Today, my girlfriend of 5 years dumped me because she got tired of me being thinner than her and, in her own words, making her look bad. FML
NowImSingle
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
Anonymous
Victorville, United States
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
Top comments
evilshade 0
Does she weight 360 pounds?
McMan 23
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo why, why hurt the innocent?
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Comments (449)
amerwin 3
On the bright side, they were only $99.99 last I checked. Give her a chance to redeem herself by offering to time her as she runs down to the store to buy you a new one. If all goes well, you will have a new xbox and a more attractive mate.
fastbunny 0
Ya you should try wearing shirts dosent that sound nice
HSOMGF 5
You're both idiots.
FYLDeep 26
She-Hulk Smash!
Nadinek98 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
u NEVER ask a gurl what her age and weight r.. its like Ur girlfriend asking u how long Ur Dick is..90% of men lie about their penis size. true fact :)
IntoTheClouds 42
And 78% of statistics are made up on the spot. ; )
IVANTTOCOME 0
And 85% of statistics are bullshit.
ohthebloodygore 16
28, you're an idiot. Speak for yourself. I as a female could care less if any male/female were to ask my weight or my age.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Well nearly half of all penises are below average. What guy's gonna admit to that?
BonJovi821 3
@32: But only 54% of the time.
Elizabeth123654 0
GUYS! Everyone knows that 64% of statistics are made up on the spot, 32% of them are bribed assumptions, and 100% of us have no idea what we're ******* talking about. lolz ;)
wwerulez14 6
90% of people will believe anything you tell them if you add in a random percent or fake statistic.
Reutan 0
Well played, #58.
ohthebloodygore 16
272, yes it is. You're an idiot.
stfuscrub420 0
must be heavy as hell, getting offended like that.
evilshade 0
No black ops for you :'( I rather comit suicide
Doortje 30
Yes we do. Unless the doctor is really hot, in that case we sleep with him first.
DocBastard 40
I haven't had a patient try that one yet. I won't say if that is directed at Triumvirate or Doortje.
warriorsoul 2
Did you throw her out the window to go get it?
lil_miss_blair 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
OP you SOOOOO deserve this. never ask a girl what she weighs under any circumstances. also xboxs are evil machines that need to be thrown out the window anyway. at least your gf had an excuse.
athenaxdivine 0
I strongly disagree. X-box=amazing I play video games with my Hubby all the time. COD also = amazing :] I'd never throw the xbox out the window. thats my fun box too XD sorry that you have to compete with an x box for your guys time. maybe he's gay? or maybe you suck? who knows
dumbestdrummer 0
46-and I'm sure your SOOOO dumb. you call an xbox an evil machine and you look like a total ****. I'm just sayin'
lil_miss_blair 0
dumbestdrummer- i know you're upset you'll never have me, but that's no reason to call me a dumb ****. just accept it like most other guys have to.
Sirin_fml 47
Lil_miss_blair, to be blunt, one would have to be high on every drug known to humanity to actually want you, with this attention-seeking behaviour. Chill out.
lil_miss_blair 0
hey, it was the guy who provoked it. I'm not attention seeking, I'm really smart and on the honor roll, we don't attention seek
Sirin_fml 47
Actually, if you assess yourself rationally, you will find that you are in fact simply an idiot.