Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my coworker has once again called in and asked me to cover her shift. She does this for every single one of her shifts, and my boss told me that if I don’t cover it, I’ll be fired. I used to have a life, but not anymore. FML
Today, I had to cover for a coworker who didn't turn up for work. He's always late for work and I was pissed off about having to cover for him again, so I said to my colleagues, "He better be either in hospital or dead." Turns out he was dead. FML
Today, I called into work because of a family emergency. My boss was understanding; my coworker? He tore me a new one because his wife wanted him to take the day off, which he didn't because it was going to be a tough day at work. He also threatened to find a way he could get me fired. FML
Today, I was sick, so I emailed my co-workers with a list of my hours, asking if anyone would be willing to cover them for me. I only got one hour covered, and that was during a day I don't even work. FML
Today, I asked a co-worker if he'd cover for me while I slipped out to cash some money at the bank. When I got back, I found out that when he said "yeah, sure" he actually meant "yeah, sure, I'll tell the boss and get your dumb arse suspended". FML
Today, my coworker, who constantly no-shows, ranted to me about his work hours being reduced. He somehow doesn't realize that he's the problem. We're understaffed as of now, so they can't fire him, and I have to be there constantly to make up for him being a lazy ass. My days off have been few and far between. FML
Today, I had a seizure for the first time in months. My fiancé went over to my job to let them know I wouldn't be going in. My boss bitched both of us because I didn't call myself. Sure, I'll get right on that when I'm conscious. FML
Today, after I let my job know I needed time off for a friend's funeral a week ahead of time and they declined to approve it, telling me to call in sick, the day of the funeral arrived and I called in sick, only to come back to a write-up and threats of being fired for not getting it approved in advance. FML
Today, my boyfriend called work because he is sick. Then he called me four times while I was working, to complain that I was working, and then he got mad when I told him I was sick and worked a double shift two days in a row, because apparently that's "insensitive" of me. FML
Today, exactly 19 seconds after I logged on, my boss Zoom-called me to let me know 3 people are out sick, probably until Monday, so if I wouldn’t mind doing their work as well so we don’t fall behind, within working hours, no overtime available. He wasn’t happy when I told him no. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
subhaan786 19
Surely your manager or whoever isn't dumb enough to fall for someone saying they're in a coma? Like if they're the ones calling in I mean?
theladygamer 10
Seems like your coworker is a special kind of stupid.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (101)
subhaan786 19
Surely your manager or whoever isn't dumb enough to fall for someone saying they're in a coma? Like if they're the ones calling in I mean?
tifdunc 14
Stop calling me Surely!
s0m3guy2010 21
Of course no one is stupid enough to fall for that. What he probably meant to say was that he's pregnant and needs to go on maternity leave. That's a much more valid excuse for a guy like him.
Cian_1 28
Definitely is a much more valid excuse. I see guys popping out babies everyweek where I live. It's just too mainstream for females to do it nowadays, you see.
rocker_chick23 27
#4, that "joke" stopped being funny the minute it was thought up.
incoherentrmblr 22
#44, I take it you haven't seen the movie Airplane...
zebrainthenight 13
Or you can tell him that you can't cover his shift because you will be in a coma as soon as your shift ends.
IStoleTheCookies 16
Explain to him that sitting at home alone in his tightie whities eating beans from a can and singing to his cat can often be mistaken for a "mental coma" but actually maybe he's just one sandwich short of a picnic.
ThomasBombadil 31
Hang up.
s3kShUn47 20
Agreed, should he call to ask because "he's in a coma" just hang up mid-sentence and just bring it up to the manager.
trex454 21
or just say you can't your in a coma as well
njas113 9
I'm pretty sure that he is to late to hang up now.
theladygamer 10
Seems like your coworker is a special kind of stupid.
TrippingOnAcid 29
*insert "r u a wizard" meme* (with regards to the coworker)
Danny_Boy12 13
How about we don't number 19. That's about as intelligent as your username.
CaptainSmith28 19
Never go full retard.
Adam5858 17
Just tell him you arent doing it.He'll either have to do it or get fired.
Wizardo 34
No, no he probably was in a 'coma' if it stood for colossally oblique meandering asshole...
lailagothgal 16
I'm not sure he knows what a coma is.
cakefete2 31
The sad thing is, when they beat him into a coma for his stupidity, there will be no one to call and say he won't be coming in.
hufflepuffle 13
"Yeah I know last time I said I was in a coma when I really wasn't but this time I swear I'm not lying"
Dunmerdude 13
Stupid is as stupid does, OP.
JBChristian 47
Forrest Gump reference.
LennyComa 39
Does he fall down a lot? No one can be that stupid surely
iceking53 8
So are you, problem solved
Metagame 12
The thing about puns/jokes is that they have to make sense.
cryssycakesx3 23
I understood it :/
QueenofWheels 13
?