Today, my girlfriend said she would give my penis a name: Gonzales. I asked why she wanted to name it that, and she said, "Because he's Speedy." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
Today, we got a dog. My husband was adamant that we should name him Gonit, so I agreed. A friend asked what the name meant, and my husband said, "Why wouldn't you name a dog Gonit?" Then I got it. FML
Today, I found out the pet name my girlfriend gave my penis wasn't randomly made up after all; it's her ex's name. FML
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Today, after some very passionate sex with my girlfriend, she exclaimed, "That was amazing Drew." She quickly tried to turn "Drew" into my actual name, which doesn't sound anything like Drew. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents. Trying to make a good impression, so when her dad asked how we met, I jokingly said, “She just couldn’t resist me.” Her mom smiled and asked if we used pet names. Without thinking, I said, “I call her my little burrito.” Her dad choked on his drink, and my girlfriend whispered, “Why would you say that?” FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Her new nickname for me is "Mr. Breakfast Sausage." FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML
Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
lickastick 27
Doesn't matter, had sex
Emmamazing 26
At least your girlfriend has a good sense of humour about it, OP.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (61)
FamilyAngel 4
When women find out something is wrong with their health or they just are overwight or something they change diet, do exercises or visit doctors. When men find out somthing is wrong with their health and endurance, they prefer to whine on the internet sites.
Keiraquarium 12
Firstly, that's just not true. Secondly, it might not be an actual problem. It's possible that OP is just new to all this, in which case ejaculating quickly is completely normal. Thirdly, if it IS a problem, you don't know that OP isn't doing anything about it. It's possible to both post on FML and visit the doctor. It's not like you have to choose between them.
ChristinePi 36
You can try focusing on the foreplay more so it appears your lasting longer. There's things you can do if you're actually concerned about how long you last.
The_Basileus 9
As long as she is just joking.
Pikachurr13 11
Marry her.
pjsr 33
Next time you're coming, yell 'Andale! Andale! Arriba! Arriba! La PussyGata'
EarlFug 19
Have fun with it. Her pussy is now Slowpoke Rodriguez
smoothies14 32
She made an incredible reference/joke and complimented you on your sexual performance. What is the issue?
Avashantu 18
Hahaha. Honestly, this is the best thing I've heard all day.
boxergirl1054 16
Well it could be speedy because it can hit fast too;)
urbanbigfoot 20
Be happy man. It takes me forever to finish. My girlfriends' have always finished before me.