Today, my girlfriend's new favorite TV show is Law and Order SVU. Now after every episode she insists on asking me if I'm sure I wasn't molested as a kid. She's still on the first season. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter cried for ages after finding out that Nick Amaro was written out of Law and Order: SVU. She barely reacted when I told her that her mom and I are getting a divorce. FML
Today, thanks to my wife, our 11 year-old daughter is completely obsessed with serial killers, cults, and true crime. My wife thinks it’s funny and harmless; meanwhile I’m legitimately worried about our child’s mental health. FML
Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I'm now afraid to argue with her. FML
Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML
Today, my girlfriend watched my favorite show for the first time and was really crazy about this one character. She said she wanted a man like him. The man of my girlfriend's dreams is a fictional gay guy who robs drug dealers. FML
Today, I introduced my friend to a show I really like. I told her that I’m only halfway through the second season, but she should check it out. Since she’s on leave from work, she decided to binge watch every available episode, then text me multiple spoilers. FML
Today, thanks to too many true crime podcasts and shows, my wife has lost her marbles. She now insists we use code names for our kids while out in public, so that no predators will hear their real names and follow us home to kidnap them. She’s completely serious. FML
Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML
Today, and ever since my girlfriend and I watched the movie Obsession, she now thinks it's funny to watch me sleep, screams "STAAAAY!!" whenever I move when we're cuddling, and stands still by the door with a giant smile whenever I come home. FML
Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML
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Top comments
EvilPotato 15
Next season she'll be asking if you were raped as a child.
k_ninjaa 9
that's irritating
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Comments (92)
k_ninjaa 9
that's irritating
theartists 5
You don't say.
bestnameright 14
I see what you did there 59;)
Jakespeed207 4
Well, I guess I'll have to go with my usual "no shit" then
slickchrome 11
Well were you?
randomthing 22
My guess would be a big no.
EvilPotato 15
Next season she'll be asking if you were raped as a child.
dirton89 7
Then after that she will ask if He's ever had impure thoughts of little children....it will just get progressively worse -_-
jezane 9
Hypothetically, If that show was a reality that people lived through, every second person in the city they live in would be a rapist, murderer or both...
ghostlilac 25
25 - Your picture fits your comment well
Hiimhaileypotter 53
That's got to be bothersome... I'm not trying to be insensitive at all to those who have been, but maybe next time she asks you should say, "Well, now that you mention it...." just to see the look on her face.
krewer21 1
Agreed. Give her the story she is so wanting to hear, and then say good bye.
gc327072 31
"... I was, and I liked it! Muahahahaha!"
Carmstro 13
Or he could just give her a really creepy smile.
joep1 7
Put parental controls on your tv and block the show until she realizes how annoying she is being. Easy solution, but none the less sorry OP.
theartists 5
Parental controls for your girlfriend? That's stupid, no one likes a controlling selfish boyfriend. Just because she wants to watch a show and he doesn't want to hear it doesn't mean he should stop her. Even though it annoys him.
astralvagan 20
No one likes a psycho analytical girlfriend either
joep1 7
Your right but that's depending on the person. Some people don't have a backbone to stick up for themselves against their partner, so based on that I just tried to come up with a simple solution for the time being.
theartists 5
10- Simply asking her to stop is a better, less selfish solution than parental controls. And could stop her psycho-ness.
joep1 7
I believe that would be the first thing some one would do, but due to the lack of information and the basis of that he posted an FML about it, I came to think that he has already done that and can't stand it anymore. Thus also explaining the reason behind my comment.
theartists 5
I realize this. Completely cutting off her favorite show seems way too dramatic for one simple phrase.
madgrinchhatter 12
If she is "still on the first season" she is most likely watching a DVD box set or Netflix, so parental controls wouldn't stop.
joep1 7
Verizon Fios or Cables Video on Demand?
freshberries22 17
On the other hand, she could ask you if you're a sex offender instead. Either way there's no winning with law and order SVU just wait a while it will all be over in time.
crazyluvbug 8
Oh trust me she will get there. She will ask everything...it will probably just get worse.
klovemachine 24
Sorry, OP, but the plots just get crazier :O but it's an awesome show
astralvagan 20
Perhaps you should ask her the same question since she is so obsessed with it
ninjadinos 14
Woahohoho, be careful with that one. Then she may convince herself that she has been and it was a suppressed though, go completely insane, and drive herself to a mental hospital.
hatesfate 6
Why not after each show ask her if she's the product of rape like Mariska's character?
traveler_ghost 12
Tell her to watch the walking dead. Then she'll start asking you if you've ever been bitten by a walker
FATTY_MCDOOGLE 29
Good idea.